Waymond Wang: You think because l'm kind that it means I'm naive, and maybe I am. It's strategic and necessary. This is how I fight.
Waymond Wang: So, even though you have broken my heart yet again, I wanted to say, in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.
(in the middle of the tax meeting)
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: Mrs. Wang, I'm sure you have a lot on your mind, but I cannot imagine anything mattering more than this conversation we are having right now about your tax liability.
Evelyn Wang: I know, I know. I am paying attention.
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: Good. Then, can you explain this?
(Deidre places a receipt on the table. Evelyn looks at it)
Evelyn Wang: Well, what are we talking about?
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: I was just hoping you could enlighten me on how, as a laundromat owner, a *karaoke machine* would constitute as a business expense?
Evelyn Wang: (meekly) I am a singer.
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: What?
Evelyn Wang: I... am... a... singer.
(Deirdre scoffs and shuffles through a pile of forms, referencing them at random)
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: I see, and apparently you are *also* a novelist, a part-time teacher, a chef, a motivational speaker...
Joy Wang: (as Jobu Topacki) The universe is so much bigger than you realize.
(to Joy)
Evelyn Wang: Of all the places I could be, I just want to be here with you.
Evelyn Wang: You are not unlovable. There is always something to love. Even in a stupid, stupid universe where we have hot dogs for fingers, we get very good with our feet.
Evelyn Wang: (puts google eye on her forehead)
Waymond Wang: What are you doing?
Evelyn Wang: Learning to fight like you.
Chad: Raccacoonie, I don't know what I'd do without you.
(after verse-jumping for the first time)
Evelyn Wang: (to Alpha Waymond) I saw my life... without you... I wish you could have seen it... it was beautiful.
Joy Wang: (as Jobu Topacki) I wasn't looking for you so I could kill you. I was just looking for someone who could see what I see, feel what I feel.
(to the Wangs)
Deirdre Beaubeirdra: Now, you may only see a pile of receipts, but I see a story. I can see where this story is going. And it does not look good. It. Does. Not. Look. Good.
Waymond Wang: The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please, be kind. Especially when we don't know what's going on.
(repeated line)
Evelyn Wang: (to Deirdre) I love you.
Joy Wang: (as Jobu Topacki) Just be a rock.
Joy Wang: (as Jobu Topacki; singing) Sucked. Into. A Bagel...
Register to update information, save favorites, post photos, news stories and comments.
Register to update information, save favorites, post photos, news stories and comments.