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Rocky: Love your work, man. Ed Sheeran: Thanks. Rocky: Especially the rapping. Ed Sheeran: Really? Rocky: No, I'm only kidding. No, leave it to the brothers, I say.

Jack Malik: It's times like this I wish I hadn't given up smoking. I could murder a cigarette. Rocky: Yeah. What's a cigarette?

(Jack finishes playing 'Yesterday' by The Beatles) Ellie Appleton: When did you write that? Jack Malik: I didn't write it. Paul McCartney wrote it, The Beatles wrote it.

Ellie Appleton: Miracles happen all the time! Jack Malik: Like what? Ellie Appleton: Benedict Cumberbatch becoming a sex symbol!

Jack Malik: Look, I can't be the star that we thought I could be at fourteen, on that day in the school hall when I sang a pretty cool cover of Wonderwall, and you were there, backstage. Ellie Appleton: I'm not hearing a word. Jack Malik: Okay, but look, this was my last gig. And I'm so happy you were there. This is the end of our long and winding road.

Jack Malik: I didn't ask to be The Beatles, you know, I just wanted once to have a standing ovation not given by people who were already standing at the bar. Ellie Appleton: Be the what?

Ellie Appleton: Oh, my God, you just - you touched my bottom. You've never done that before. Jack Malik: Well, I imagine we're gonna have to do a lot of things we've never done before.

Jack Malik: Accept my gratitude, Latitude.

Ed Sheeran: Someone should probably shag him while they have the chance.

Jack Malik: Do I have to have an image? Debra Hammer: Well, if you don't have an image, then the lack of image becomes an image.

Ellie Appleton: How did I get in the wrong column? How did I get in the "friend, manager, roadie" column, inst...... instead of the "And I Love Her" column? Jack Malik: Oh, god. There's definitely columns? Ellie Appleton: Well, a girl can certainly tell the difference.

Jack Malik: Thanks for taking such good care of me. Ellie Appleton: You're welcome. I'll come back later. Jack Malik: Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 64? Ellie Appleton: I don't know. I'll think about it. Why 64? Jack Malik: What do you mean? Ellie Appleton: It's just - oh, forget it.

Debra Hammer: Buddy, what I am offering you, is the great and glorious poisoned chalice of money and fame. If you don't want to drink it, which I would understand, go back and have a warm beer in little, bonny England. If you do want to drink it, I need to hear you say, "Debra, I'm so thirsty. Give me the goddamn chalice." So, which is it?

(to Jack and Ellie) Gavin: Well, this is a strange one. Of course I've always known I was number two. But that's not a bad place to be. Some of the best songs never made it to number one. Common People by Pulp, for a start. It's a total classic. And obviously all I want is for Ellie to be happy. Ellie Appleton: Gavin. Best man I ever met. Ellie Appleton: (she kisses his cheek) Thank you, Gavin.

Debra Hammer: In the name of money, stop! Get back here, you stupid, English motherf...

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