(also said by other characters)
Charlie: She/He's not coming back.
Alan: Pretty flowers
Charlie: (sarcastically) Thanks
Alan: Wanna stick 'em somewhere?
Charlie: Come on, Berta! You're like family.
Berta: Am I in your will?
Charlie: no! but none of the others are.
(repeated line) Chelsea: (whenever Charlie says something offensive that drives her away) Drop dead!
(repeated line) Charlie: She/He's not coming back.
(repeated line) Melissa: Yeppers!
Charlie: (repeated line, whenever he's put in a sticky situation) Uuuuuoo.
Various characters: (repeated line, from women Charlie manages to piss off) You son of a bitch!
Charlie: (repeated line, when he senses trouble) Oh boy.
(repeated line) Judith Harper: JAAAKE! YOUR FATHER IS HERE!
Charlie: (on Jake) How can I be blackmailed by Forrest Gump?
(repeated line) Russell: What are you, a cop?
Alan Harper: Okay, name 3 things you would change about me. Charlie: Your personality, your wardrobe and your address.
(repeated line) Charlie: That ship has sailed.
Alan Harper: A movie would be fine. Charlie: All right. A movie it is. What's out that's good? Jake Harper: There's a new pirate movie. It's rated "Arrrr"! (Alan and Charlie doesn't laugh and just stare at him)
Register to update information, save favorites, post photos, news stories and comments.