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Charlie: Recurring
(also said by other characters)
Charlie: She/He's not coming back.


Alan: Pretty flowers
Charlie: (sarcastically) Thanks
Alan: Wanna stick 'em somewhere?


Charlie: Come on, Berta! You're like family.
Berta: Am I in your will?
Charlie: no! but none of the others are.


(repeated line) Chelsea: (whenever Charlie says something offensive that drives her away) Drop dead!


(repeated line) Charlie: She/He's not coming back.


(repeated line) Melissa: Yeppers!


Charlie: (repeated line, whenever he's put in a sticky situation) Uuuuuoo.


Various characters: (repeated line, from women Charlie manages to piss off) You son of a bitch!


Charlie: (repeated line, when he senses trouble) Oh boy.


(repeated line) Judith Harper: JAAAKE! YOUR FATHER IS HERE!


Charlie: (on Jake) How can I be blackmailed by Forrest Gump?


(repeated line) Russell: What are you, a cop?


Alan Harper: Okay, name 3 things you would change about me. Charlie: Your personality, your wardrobe and your address.


(repeated line) Charlie: That ship has sailed.


Alan Harper: A movie would be fine. Charlie: All right. A movie it is. What's out that's good? Jake Harper: There's a new pirate movie. It's rated "Arrrr"! (Alan and Charlie doesn't laugh and just stare at him)


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