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Wendy: Wouldn't want you going deaf before you hear a girl orgasm.

Marcus: I'd rather have an ugly reminder that love exists than no reminder at all.

Alyssa: I was trying to protect you. Marcus: Yeah well, you're not really good at protecting your fucking kids, are you?

Marcus: Where am I? Alyssa: You're in the hospital, sweetheart. You had a seizure. Marcus: Did it look cool?

Wendy: Ooh! Are those fun pills? (Marcus looks at Wendy) Wendy: Oh no, they're sad pills!

Marcus: (about auctioned dildo) It's way too big to be a paperweight. Wendy: Marcus, it's not that big.

Dominic: Look, all I'm saying is, one month from now, there's a Marcus who never found peace with losing his hearing, but there's also a Marcus who did. And I don't think you and I want to be the parents who decides which one he gets to be.

Dominic: What are the chances of listening to Cats in the Cradle while you give a valedictorian speech? Marcus: Well, I have a 2.8 GPA; so you do the math. Dominic: (scroffs) Math! Ugh, no thank you.

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