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Angelo Garepe: Rusty, I think he bangs his wife in installments.

(Christopher just got out of drug rehab)
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: So, what step are you at now?
Christopher Moltisanti: I did all the steps, except for the one where I'm supposed to go around and apologize to all the people I fucked over when I was using.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: ...I think maybe you shouldn't do that one. You know, let sleeping dogs lie.
Christopher Moltisanti: Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: There's an old Italian saying: you fuck up once, you lose two teeth.

Dr. Jennifer Melfi: (to a friend, about men) Sure. You want someone who's sensitive to your needs, but still decisive enough for the occasional grope in the closet.

(during the executive card game, Matthew Bevilaqua tries to clean up cheese from Silvo Dante, Silvio goes ballistic)
Silvio Dante: What the fuck are you doing?
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Sil, take it easy.
Silvio Dante: (turns to Tony) I'm losin' my balls over here! This fucking moron's playing "Hazel".
(turns back to Matthew)
Silvio Dante: Get the fuck out of here!
Matthew Bevilaqua: I was just trying to sweep the cheese away...
Silvio Dante: Why? Why now? Leave it there.
Matthew Bevilaqua: I don't know. I was just...
Silvio Dante: What?
(turns the other guys)
Silvio Dante: Where do you get these fuckin' idiots, huh? Where do you get them? He's sweeping the cheese, I'm trying to get...
(turns back to Matthew)
Silvio Dante: (shouts) Leave the fucking cheese there, all right? I love fuckin' cheese at my feet! I stick motherfuckin' provolone in my socks at night, so they smell like your sister's crotch in the morning. Alright? Now leave the fucking cocksucking cheese where it is! Here, here, here.
(he swipes off the cheese on his plate onto the floor)
Silvio Dante: Go ahead. Have a good time.

Mikey Palmice: Junior Soprano's the new boss and he ain't respectin' old arrangements.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Log off, that "cookies" shit makes me nervous!

Juror #9: So, let's keep in touch. Call me when your grandson is born.
Female Juror: When he's born, I wouldn't want to be thinking about you.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: It's like taking a shit.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Ok. I actually like to think about it as a childbirth.
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: Trust me. It's like taking a shit.

Ralphie Cifaretto: ...and I know I'm the guy who's dating your mom,
Jackie Aprile Jr.: Dating?
Ralphie Cifaretto: Don't get fuckin' filthy about it.

Tony Soprano: Oh, poor baby. What do you want, a Whitman's Sampler?

Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bompensiero: Hey, Sil.
Silvio Dante: What?
Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bompensiero: "What". I've been gone a long time. Let me hear it.
Silvio Dante: (imitates Al Pacino) Just when I thought I was out, THEY PULL ME BACK IN!

(Three of Tony's capos enter a room angrily)
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: I thought I was the only one Junior could make look like that.

Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: A wrong decision is better than indecision.

(about his father)
Anthony 'Tony' Soprano Sr.: The belt was his favorite child development tool.

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