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Sean Bateman: No one ever ever knows anyone. You're not ever gonna know me. Paul: What the hell does that mean? Sean Bateman: It means, Paul, you're not ever gonna know me. Deal with it. Figure it out. Paul: Fuck you, Bateman! Fuck you Bateman!


Sean Bateman: What about the cash, Marc? What about the fucking cash? Marc: What class? Who teaches that, man?


Sean Bateman: What's wrong? I told you I came. Lara: I was born in a Holiday Inn.


Mrs. Mimi Jared: Well..."Dick"... how is school? Richard "Dick" Jared: Sucks cock-k-k...


Sean Bateman: Are you here for that class? Lauren Hynde: The tutorial on the post modern condition? It's been cancelled. Sean Bateman: Typical. Lauren Hynde: I haven't seen you in it before. Sean Bateman: That's what's so typical. This was the first time I bothered to show up. Lauren Hynde: You've got bad timing. Sean Bateman: Saturdays suck. I don't have to put up with this bullshit. I'm dropping this class. Lauren Hynde: Me too. Sean Bateman: Really? Lauren Hynde: Yeah. I think I'm gonna change my major. Sean Bateman: To what? Lauren Hynde: I don't know yet. What's yours? Sean Bateman: I don't even know.


Paul Denton: I watched him with growing intensity as he refilled the pipe in the dark and smokey din of the room. He delicately fingered what looked like dried moss to me, and it struck me then that I liked Sean because he looked, well, slutty. A boy who'd been around. A boy who couldn't remember if he was Catholic or not.


Paul Denton: Do you have any E?
Harry: That shit makes your spinal fluid run backwards.


Dr. Phibes, Waiting Room Doctor: Harry's gone bye-bye, he's gone to the big bye-bye. He's got his name in the papers on the back side. It's "Toe Tag Time in Teenville Tonight". Again. Should've just said no, Harry.
Harry: I'm not dead am I?
Dr. Phibes, Waiting Room Doctor: Actually, you don't have a pulse. I think you're dead.


Richard "Dick" Jared: Fuck you! / Fuck you! / And fuck you, pretty boy!


Mr. Lance Lawson: Ms. Lauren Hyde... why weren't you at my tutorial last saturday?


(aftergetting high, Sean starts to think)
Sean Bateman: I need to get some more pot. I'm running out. Then I need to get laid. Where the fuck was Lauren tonight? That Lara girl was kind of hot. I could bang her and feel good about it. But I'd rather have Lauren. I wonder why? It would just ruin my illusion of her purity. Whoa, is that really what I want?
(pause)
Sean Bateman: I need to get laid.
(sniffs)
Sean Bateman: Then I need to get more pot.


Sean Bateman: What's wrong? I told you I came.
Lara: I was born in a Holiday Inn.


Sean Bateman: No one ever ever knows anyone. You're not ever gonna know me.
Paul: What the hell does that mean?
Sean Bateman: It means, Paul, you're not ever gonna know me. Deal with it. Figure it out.
Paul: Fuck you, Bateman! Fuck you Bateman!


Dick: Fuck you all very much.


Rupert: You want some coke?
Sean Bateman: Um. Sure.
Rupert: Then buy some of your own, bitch.


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