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Gavin: Don't party with them. Don't fuck them. Don't listen to anything they say. Always tell them they're fantastic in the movie.

Howie Frangopolous: Fuck you, you fucker!

Gavin: I'm not a magician. Paula the Studio Head: I know you're not a fucking magician, if you were a fucking magician you could pull a movie out of your ass. Oh my god, it's Minnie Driver! I love her.

Dieter Bravo: Kate? Are you me? Kate: I'm you. You're me. I'm horny. Who cares?

Dustin Mulray: I don't like it. Stop being Bennedict Cumberbatch.

Dieter Bravo: (walks into the common room) Pippa. Do you want to have sex with me? Pippa: I'm eating, blud! Dieter Bravo: Gunther? Gunther: (pauses playing the piano) I'm, I'm done eating, but I'm okay...

Krystal Kris: You know, I've never had a normal friend before. Carla: No one's ever called my normal before.

(first lines) Gavin: Gunther, Bola, thank you for joining us here in our bubble. As the Producer on this movie, here's what I expect from you. Actors are animals. you are animal handlers. Sometimes they want to play with you, sometimes they'll rip your balls off. Pippa: Don't listen to anything they say; they're liars. They literally lie for a living. That's their literal job. Gavin: Don't party with them. Don't tire them out. Don't fuck them. Always tell them they're fantastic in the movie. Pippa: They're very insecure people. They need constant praise. Bola: (summarizing) Make them feel good, don't tire them out, don't fuck them. Don't fuck them.

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