Gus: Move over honey, I gotta take a leak.
Liz: Oh my God! You're not kidding!
Number 7 Robot: Oh Shit!
Howie: For years I thought the sun was a monster. But I am here to tell you that it's not a monster! IT'S NOT A MONSTER!
Richie: (after pulling up to Mel's house) Wow,I always wondered who lived here, I just thought it was Clay Aiken or something.
Richie: I love... salad.
Clark: That nerd makes me look like Rambo.
Clark: John Stamos?
Howie: I used to think the sun was evil but now I know it's not.
Wayne: How's the moon treating you.
Howie: Not a fan.
Richie: I guess I'm no longer a virgin... to home runs, BYOTCH!
Gus: (to Nelson) Hey. Are you the kid who got farted on earlier?
Mel: Yes. This is my son Nelson. He's become quite the fart magnet for the neighborhood bullies.
Nelson: I also get a healthy smear of animal turds twice daily.
Clark: When I was your age, Fairy Jerry dumped a bucket of dog poop on me.
Nelson: His son just did that to me last week.
Gus: My wife is the only one who gets to twist these man titties.
Howie: (quivering) Carlos?
Carlos: Who say my name?
Howie: (gives him 2 packs of beer and a tequila) I brought you a present from the Benchwarmers. You're really good at baseball.
Carlos: (happy) Thank you Albino.
Carlos: Now get lost!
Howie: (cowers away screeching)
Gus: (shouts) Clark! Try to hit the ball in the strike zone.
Clark: Well where's the strike zone?
(he gets a bit distracted during the pitch)
Umpire: Strike two!
Gus: Right there.
Richie: Are you guys ready to scr-mi-mimage?
(looking at Mel's Pontiac Firebird Trans Am)
Clark: This car is so radical. Looks just like K.I.T.T. from the show Knight Rider.
Mel: It is K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider. Watch this.
(Mel activates the car with his watch)
K.I.T.T.: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm K.I.T.T.
Richie: (to Mel) Who are you?
Mel: Oh, I'm just one of those nerds who grew up... to make billions.
Gus: Nice meeting you, Fairy Jerry.
Jerry: What was that?
Gus: Well, you gave Clark and Richie nicknames. I thought I'd give you one: Fairy Jerry.
Jerry: Oh, really?
Gus: (stands up from chair) Really.
Jerry: Okay, Gus- Gus... Gus Bus! That's you, Gus Bus!
Gus: Oh, that was a brutal comeback. Come on guys, let's go. I don't think I can ever get over that one. Whew!
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