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Marcus Ellwood: Do you still think I look like Yoda? Gus: No. Marcus Ellwood: But Yoda's my favorite! You're a bad, bad man!


Richie: (after Salad Girl leaves) What do you think of my future wife? Old Man: I smell Cinnamon Rolls! Richie: Oh, I smell Cinnamon Rolls too.


Clark: We could still win this thing. Richie: Wha-how? Clark: If we use the force. Richie: Let's try not to be too geeky, Clark. Clark: The Force is powerful, my young padawan. Howie: He's right. It is.


Gus: Man! I haven't even been on a baseball field in over 10 years. Clark: I've never been on a baseball field, if I did, the kids in my neighborhood would spit loogies on my forehead. Gus: Thats horrible, baseball's America's past time... thats like saying you've never had apple pie. Gus: You've never had apple pie? Clark: My mom said it would give me diarrhea. Gus: That's ridiculous, Clark! You have to try it at least once! Clark: Diarrhea? Gus: No! Baseball!


Kyle: I'm gonna call the cops! Clark: We are cops!... We're navy seals! Kyle: Navy seals aren't cops! Troy: Aren't you our paperboy? Clark: ...I'm undercover


Richie: Clark, we don't play baseball.
Clark: I told Gus that we would be there, and if we don't show up, that makes me a liar... and that's not what I'm about... Not now, NOT EVER!
Richie: Okay, Okay Daytime Emmy


Clark: Hold on I got a text from my mom... NO WAY we're having maccroni tonight that means garlic bread! Yes!


(after purosely stomping on Gus's hand)
Carlos: Sorry. It was accident.
(lifts foot off Gus's hand)


Brad: Hey, what the... Clark? Richie? I hardly recognised you clowns without the underwear on your heads!
Richie: Brad! Wow, you have really not slimmed down!


Gus: (upon seeing Carlos enter) Hey, what's going on here? How come he's playing?
Wayne: Oh, ah, I couldn't play him before because he was feeling ill.
Carlos: Me tummy, es sicko.
Umpire: Well you got proof he's a kid?
Gus: Come on! Look at his beard. He's 50.
Wayne: Not according to birth certifico.
(hands umpire the crumpled up paper he saw earlier)
Umpire: (looks inside and sees 'I am 12' written in green crayon, with a picture of Carlos and $10. He carefully pockets the $10 and folds the paper back up) He's got documentation. Play ball!


Brad: So I heard from Jerry you tools think you're athletes now?
Richie: That's funny, I didn't know athlete had three syllables, A-tha-lete? That's ama-za-zing.
Brad: You think you're hot shit 'cos you know words.
Clark: Hey Brad, why don't you be a stud and point us towards the register, or... Register... er...!...


Gus: I think this is a sign that you should get a car.
Clark: My mom said I should hold off on getting my license for another year.
(extends arms forward and then retracts)
Clark: She wants to make sure my reflexes are fully developed.


Gus: Man! I haven't even been on a baseball field in over 10 years.
Clark: I've never been on a baseball field, if I did, the kids in my neighborhood would spit loogies on my forehead.
Gus: Thats horrible, baseball's America's past time... thats like saying you've never had apple pie.
Gus: You've never had apple pie?
Clark: My mom said it would give me diarrhea.
Gus: That's ridiculous, Clark! You have to try it at least once!
Clark: Diarrhea?
Gus: No! Baseball!


Kyle: I'm gonna call the cops!
Clark: We are cops!... We're navy seals!
Kyle: Navy seals aren't cops!
Troy: Aren't you our paperboy?
Clark: ...I'm undercover


(seeing three Howie's thru his blurred vision)
Carlos: Look at all those Albinos.


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