Ford Fairlane: Clint Eastwood... I fucked 'im.
Ford Fairelaine: (Ford is looking at a Colleen Sutton and Johnny Crunch pornographic video) I'm very rich. Nothing offends me. I mean, no shit, honey. You got a whip sticking out of your ass and a guy that's fucking barking.
Jazz: Well, that weekend was a mistake.
Ford Fairlane: Hey, look. I'm sorry I made you clean the toilets and the bathtubs, I mean, who did all the work in bed?
Ford Fairlane: How much?
Ticket Guy: 300.
Ford Fairlane: 300? You charged the chicks one.
Ticket Guy: Hey, they blew me.
Ford Fairlane: Heh. 300 coming up.
Ford Fairlane: Hey, look. Write down my number: 555-6321 Got it?
Twin Club Girl: Yeah. Wait a minute. 555 is not a real number. They only use that in the movies.
Ford Fairlane: No shit, honey. What do you think this is? Real life?
Ford Fairlane: What are your names, Neil and Bob, or is that like what you do?
Lt. Amos: See, that's the difference between a great investigator like me, and a piece of spam like you.
Ford Fairlane: Spam? You're a piece of spam. That's what I think of you.
Lt. Amos: No, I call you a piece of spam, 'cos that's what you are.
Ford Fairlane: Spam.
Ford Fairlane: (to women running from his bed) Do my dishes.
(Zuzu is hanging from a building)
Ford Fairlane: It's alright. If you fall, I'll make it.
Ford Fairlane: You guys a band?
Punk Gunslinger: Yeah, sure.
Ford Fairlane: You got a name?
Punk Gunslinger: Yeah... pain.
Ford Fairlane: Kooky.
Smiley: You're breaking me heart... What's the point?
Ford Fairlane: Here's to you, Johnny. Sucking my dick. (toasting with Johnny Crunch at the radio station)
Johnny Crunch: Suzuki Samurai, you Bensonhurst piece of shit.
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