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Ford Fairlane: What... you didn't really think we'd kill the fuckin' koala bear, now did ya?


(after knocking a villain off a building onto a piano)
Ford Fairlane: Say hello to Liberace, asshole!


Smiley: Your assistant is quite special. I look forward to raping her at your funeral.


Smiley: Alright... If that's the way you want it.


Lt. Amos: I can't believe anybody can have so much fucking fun in a funeral, Fairlane.


Don Cleveland: (to Julian Grendale) With friends like you, who needs enemas?


Ford Fairlane: Un-fucking-believable.


Lt. Amos: Are you calling me an asshole, asshole?
Ford Fairlane: No, I'm calling you an anus, anus.


Ford Fairlane: I almost shit a Miata.


Ford Fairlane: Hey, great pipes, huh? I've heard cats fuck with more harmony.


Ford Fairlane: Excuse me, did I hear the f-word out of you? You say "fuck" again and I'll bang you right to fuck. Now get the fuck out of here.


(At the "sisters'" house, surrounded by all the semi-nude women)
Ford Fairlane: hibb... hibbdy... Maybe I did die in the explosion, you know.


Ford Fairlane: I coulda been a fisherman. Fishermen, they get up, they fish, they sell fish, they smelt fish. Reminds me of this girl I used to go with, Yvonne, she smelled like fish.


Johnny Crunch: If there are any teenage virgins listening, show up at KDRT right now with a jar of petroleum jelly, and ask to speak to Johnny Crunch.


Don Cleveland: Will someone tell me what the fuck is going on here, slowly?
Zuzu Petals: Well... it... all... started... with... this... condom... factory...


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