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(Latka pays Louie a coin) Louie De Palma: What's this? Latka Gravas: It's a kebble. Louie De Palma: What's a kebble? Latka Gravas: 110 kebble make a lithnitch. Louie De Palma: What's a lithnich? Latka Gravas: 270 lithnich make a matta. Louie De Palma: What's a matta? Latka Gravas: I don't know, what's the matter with you?

Louie De Palma: Whenever I hear the word "marriage," I say, "Check, please!"

Jim: When I think of me, I smile.

Alex Rieger: One thing about being a cabbie is that you don't have to worry about being fired from a good job.

(while filling out an application) Bobby Wheeler: Mental illness or narcotic addiction? "Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Now that's a tough choice...

(during a written driving test) "Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Pssssttt... what does the yellow light mean? Bobby Wheeler: "Slow down." "Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: What... does... the... yellow... light... mean? Bobby Wheeler: "Slow down"! "Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Whaaaat... dooooeeees... theeeee... yeeeel-looowwww... liiiiight... meeeeaaan?

"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Hey, Alex - You know the really great thing about television? If something important happens, anywhere in the world, night or day... you can always change the channel.

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