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Stan Podalak: Let me help! Let me help! I can help! I can help!
Michael Jordan: What can you do?
Stan Podalak: Well, I may not be very tall, but... I'm slow.
Sylvester: And large.
Daffy Duck: And a dork.


Bill Murray: Okay, here's how I see it. Daff?
Daffy Duck: Yes.
Bill Murray: You dish it off to the girl bunny.
Michael Jordan: Bill...
Bill Murray: Then you dish it off to the guy bunny.
Michael Jordan: Bill...
Bill Murray: Then it goes to the big man. You go to the hole and dominate!
Michael Jordan: Bill! We're on defense!
Bill Murray: Whoa hoa hoa! I don't play defense.


(last lines)
Larry Bird: What's the matter, Bill?
Bill Murray: (after seeing Michael's fancy return to the NBA) Larry, that could have been me.
Larry Bird: Would you get over it? It's over. It's done with. You can't play.
Bill Murray: Okay.
(voice breaking with emotion)
Bill Murray: Let's go, Bulls!


Daffy Duck: We've got to get a new agent. We're getting screwed!


Mouse announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the starting lineup for the Toon Squad: Standing two foot four, The Wonder from Down Under: The Tasmanian Devil!
(Taz squeezes two balls in his mouth, pops them, and spins around)
Mouse announcer: At small forward: standing a scintillating three foot two, The Heartthrob of the Hoops: Lola Bunny!
(Lola dribbles and spins the ball on her finger)
Mouse announcer: At power forward, The Quackster of the Court: Daffy Duck!
Daffy Duck: Thank you! Thank you!
(Silence from the audience, crickets chirping)
Daffy Duck: (disappointed, but sarcastically) Very funny. Leth's all laugh at the duck!
Mouse announcer: And the point guard, standing three foot three, four feet if you include the ears, Co-captain of the toon squad, the Doctor of Delight: Bugs Bunny!
Bugs: Thank you! Thank you!
Mouse announcer: And now, the player coach of the Toon Squad, at six foot six from North Carolina, his Royal Airness: Michael Jordan!


Stan Podalak: (after all of his attempts to dig to find Michael have failed) This is it! THIS IS IT! I don't know where you are, Michael! But wherever you are, you obviously enjoy bein' there more than spendin' time with me!


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