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Daffy Duck: Very funny. Leth's all laugh at the duck.

Shawn Bradley: I've got other skills. I could go back and work on the farm. Or maybe... I could go back to the jungle and be a missionary again.

Nerdluck Bang: We seek the one they call Bugs Bunny.
Nerdluck Nawt: Yeah, Bugs Bunny.
Nerdluck Bupkus: Have you seen him?
Nerdluck Blanko: Is he around?
Bugs: Hmmm... Bugs Bunny... Bugs Bunny... Say, don't he have, uh, great big long ears...
(pulls his ears)
Bugs: like this?
Nerdlucks: Yeah.
Bugs: And does he hop around like this?
(hops around the forrest)
Nerdlucks: Uh-huh.
Bugs: And does he say, "What's up, doc?" like this?
(chomps carrot)
Bugs: Eh, what's up, doc?
Nerdlucks: (excited) YEAH!
Bugs: (leaves) Nope, never heard of him.
Nerdlucks: Aw...
Bugs: (to the audience) Y'know, maybe there *is* no intelligent life out there in the univoise after all.

Stan Podalak: The mouse? He picked the mouse?

Michael Jordan: Hey, Bugs?
Bugs: Yeah, Mike.
Michael Jordan: Stay out of trouble.
Bugs: (to Lola) You know I will.
(Lola laughs)
Bugs: Show me!
(he grabs her and kisses her on the lips)

Michael Jordan: (after winning the game) Thanks guys, you got a lot of... a lot of... well, whatever it is, you got a lot of it.

Michael Jordan: Let's do some drills.

Monstar Bupkus: That's mine!
Bugs: (stealing the ball) Not today.

(Stan prepares to take a picture of Michael after the hole in one)
Stan Podalak: Let me get a picture of this. All right, here we go, you want to smile. You reach in, you reach in for the ball and then you smile. OK?
Michael Jordan: Yes.
Stan Podalak: And you think this is good.
Michael Jordan: Just take the picture!
Stan Podalak: All right.
(a rope comes out of the hole and pulls Michael in)
Bill Murray: (after a pause) What kind of camera is that?
Stan Podalak: It's just a
Bill Murray: (interrupts) Would you not point it at me please and close the lens cap?
Stan Podalak: I didn't do anything! I just took...
Larry Bird: Where'd he go?

(the Monstars arrive at the gym)
Monstar Bupkus: I'm here!
Monstar Blanko: Me too.
(he hits his head on a backboard)
Monstar Blanko: That hurt.

Larry Johnson: I've been MRI'd, EKG'd, X-Rayed, Laser beamed...

(saying a prayer)
Charles Barkley: I promise I'll never swear again. I'll never get another technical. I'll never trash talk...
Charles Barkley: I won't go out with Madonna again.

Daffy Duck: But Mommy, I don't want to go to school today. I wanna stay home and bake cookies with you!

Female Seer: (while the Nerdlucks, hiding in a trench coat, watch Charles Barkley in the game) Sweetheart?
Male Fan: What?
Female Seer: Thought you were gonna get better seats this year.
Male Fan: This is as good as I could get.
Female Seer: This guy next to me is doing something very weird in his raincoat.
Male Fan: Honey, will you just let me watch the game? Barkley's killing us!

Jeffrey Jordan: Does everyone get mad at you?
Michael Jordan: No. Worse. Everyone's real nice about it.

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