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Tommy: (at a pretend funeral) Um, shouldn't someone say something? Chuckie: How about... Hinkle finkle dinkle do. Lil, Tommy, Chuckie, Phil: Ahem.

Didi: Stu, you'll never guess whose coming to dinner! Stu: Sidney Poitier?

Chuckie: (after asking Chuckie why he allowed them to be locked in the closet) But Ms. Angelica you told me to come in here Angelica: So what? If I told you to jump off a bridge would you do it? Chuckie: Probably

(Chuckie has escaped being trampled by a crowd dancing the Hora) Phil: Chuckie! What happened? Chuckie: (dizzy) The Hora! The Hora!

Bob the X-Ray Tech: (Angelica is hoisted up on a table) Hi, I'm Bob. I'll be your X-Ray Technician. Angelica: What are you gonna do? Bob the X-Ray Tech: I'm going to take pictures of your insides. Say cheese! Bob the X-Ray Tech: (a powerful X-ray beam shoots Angelica, showing her as a skeleton) It's kind of strange at first, but after a while, you get to like it. (a beam shoots revealing Bob's skeleton)

Grandpa Borris: (Watching Stu's home videos, he dials a phone) Hello Dr. Kavorkian.

Angelica: We couldn't sleep 'cause of the Satchmo. Stu: Satchmo? The trumpet player? Angelica: No, the monster.

Didi: (filling out bank forms) Weight on the Moon in Kilograms.

Grandpa: (pretending to quickly read a bedtime story) "Once upon a time, there was a little bunny who wanted some friends. So he found some friends, and he lived happily ever after. The end."

Chuckie: My tummy hurts. Tommy: Wow! The vaccuum ate up all those leaves! Lil: I'll bet the vaccuum's tummy hurts too.

Tommy: Where's Chucky? Phil: Maybe he went to look for Satchmo! Angelica: Chucky's scared of the guy on the oatmeal box. Why would he want to look for Satchmo?

Tommy: Hey, Chuckie? Chuckie: What, Tommy, What? I' trying to sleep! Tommy: I was just thinking about green Jello. Chuckie: Green Jello? Tommy: Yeah, how do they do it? Chuckie: Do what? Tommy: Make it green. Chuckie: I don't know, Tommy, I'm going to sleep. (Tommy goes to sleep but Chuckie lies awake wide eyed) Chuckie: How do they make it green?

Angelica: When life gives you lemons, make apple sauce.

Angelica: (about Grandpa's sister) She's not just my aunt; she's my great-aunt once removed! Louis Kalhern 'Grandpa' Pickles I: If she can be removed once, then...

Chuckie: (to Tommy) Is your Dad mad at me? I've never heard him say words like that before.

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