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Phil Brickman: I wrap the cake up in my vomit bag, and voila!... Breakfast!
(pounding the airplane tray table)
Phil Brickman: Conservation, Managing resources... that is the key to Baseball.


Clark: They're sending Henry in!
George: Yeah, we're gonna go sit closer so you can see better.
Mary Rowengartner: Come on, let's go get seats.
Bob Carson: Seats? You mean down on the field level?
Mary Rowengartner: Yeah.
Bob Carson: No, no, no. Please, that's too dangerous.
Mary Rowengartner: Why?
Bob Carson: Me, the owner of the Cubs sitting down with the fans? They'd kill me.


Larry Fisher: Reporters are foaming at the mouth for a piece of the kid.
Mary Rowengartner: Which piece?


Bob Carson: You're the best thing to happen to baseball since Cracker Jack!


Martinella: BRICKMAN!
Phil Brickman: (Talking softly) I'll be right back!


Chet Steadman: Do me a favor: Don't call me "Rocket".
Henry Rowengartner: Why not?
Chet Steadman: 'Cause I'm not the "Rocket" anymore.
Henry Rowengartner: Yeah, I don't get it, you're throwing so slow.
Chet Steadman: Well, thank you very much.


Chet Steadman: Do me a favor, Henry. Don't take this game too seriously.
Henry Rowengartner: Why not?
Chet Steadman: Because one day it'll all be over. Your gift will be gone.


(after Chet Steadman gives up a home run)
Cliff Murdoch - Announcer: Well, that's going to bring Rocket's earned run average to about, uh, three hundred or so. Which equals the attendance here today. What a team.


Larry Fisher: Hey, kid! How'd you like to play for the Chicago Cubs?
Henry Rowengartner: Great! But I gotta ask my mom first.


Henry Rowengartner: Hey! We want a pitcher, not an underwear snitcher!


(after Henry accidentally throws a fielded ball over the outfield fence)
George: Is that play legal?


Henry Rowengartner: Pitcher's got a big butt! Pitcher's got a big butt!


Phil Brickman: Punctuality, Henry. Without it, time stands still.


Mary Rowengartner: Hi, Chet, I'm Henry's ma!
Chet Steadman: Hi, Henry's mom!


(once taken out of the cast, Henry's arm snaps around and hits Dr. Kersten in the nose)
Dr. Kersten: (muffled, with hands over his face) Funky, buttloving...!
George: Did he say "funky buttloving?"


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