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Natalie: Everything's going to be fine, guys. Just - just do what he says.
Flash: How can you be so calm?
Natalie: I don't know if I am calm, okay? I just - I've been through worse.
Flash: Yeah? Like what?
Natalie: Oh, like being strapped to a table and your grandfather ready to cut your heart out.
Flash: Oh. Yeah, you got me beat, then. Never mind.

Jessica: Do you know what an evil, lying tramp Shawna is?
Rex: Yeah. That's why I like her.

Dr. Dorian Cramer Lord Callison Santi Vickers Hayes Laurence #3: Honestly, I wasn't with another man, I swear.
David Vickers: You swear on what?
Dr. Dorian Cramer Lord Callison Santi Vickers Hayes Laurence #3: I swear on my desk, on the family pictures, on the statue, on
(sees a silver candlestick poking out of David's bag)
Dr. Dorian Cramer Lord Callison Santi Vickers Hayes Laurence #3: ... My candlestick in your luggage?
David Vickers: (fake surprise) What's your candlestick doing in my luggage?
Dr. Dorian Cramer Lord Callison Santi Vickers Hayes Laurence #3: Nevermind.

River Garvey Carpenter #4: (to Dorian) Grandma, you are wicked cool!
Dr. Dorian Cramer Lord Callison Santi Vickers Hayes Laurence #3: River, please, the 'G' word
River Garvey Carpenter #4: Sorry... Dorian

(Viki and Dorian imagine themselves as each other. In Viki's dream of her life as Dorian, Kelly and Blair end up in a catfight and Starr interrupts the melee)
Starr: My anaconda's eating Jack! What do I do?

Lindsay Farrell Rappaport Buchanan: Today is not a good day to be pushing my buttons.
Georgina Whitman #1: Well, what about tomorrow?
Lindsay Farrell Rappaport Buchanan: Tomorrow doesn't look good either.

Antonio: What would you call that, Jessica?
Jessica: Doing what I have to do. Mitch has hurt my family in every way possible and I want to make sure that not only does he pay, that he never hurts my family again.
Antonio: Oh yeah? Well, not tonight you're not.

Todd Manning (aka Todd Lord: Must be nice living in a world of newspapers; all your people in black and white.

Lee Dennison Halpern Sanders: (Bo is taking some policemen to try to find Blair) All right, now, let's go.
David Vickers: Bo, don't neglect to turn on your lights and your siren. I will be right behind.
Lee Dennison Halpern Sanders: Ugh.
David Vickers: This is a seminal moment for me. I'll be chasing a police car instead of it chasing me. Let's go.

Bufort Olgethorpe 'Bo' Buchanan: Looks like the media found their angle - John McBain is Batman.

Marcie: All my life, Al, nobody has even been attracted to me.
Al: Well, listen, those days are over, Marcie.

Victoria "Viki/Blondie" Lord Riley Lord Buchanan Buchanan Carpenter Davidson #3: Oh, Clint, I forgot to tell you... Jessie's pregnant.
Clint Buchanan #2: Who's the father?
Victoria "Viki/Blondie" Lord Riley Lord Buchanan Buchanan Carpenter Davidson #3: We don't know. We don't even know who the mother is.

David Vickers: (getting blamed for not realizing Mark was gay) Don't look at me. How was I supposed to know? He wasn't wearing a baseball hat that said "gay" on it.

Margaret Cochran #2: (disguised as Blair) I'm not Peggy! I'm Blair Cramer Buchanan Manning Holden... did I forget a Manning in there? Oh well. Doesn't matter.

Natalie: I don't know, something twisted. I mean, this whole place is twisted. It's like some twisted shrine of him and mother. What'd you do down here, gramps? Count your money and stare at yourself while groping at your daughter? Bastard!

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