Det. Connie McDowell: Theo walked in on me while I was getting out of the shower this morning.
Det. Rita Ortiz: Well, was this a glimpse or what?
Det. Connie McDowell: Everything, I mean the Full Monty.
Det. Rita Ortiz: Well, at least he has something interesting to use during sharing time at school this morning.
Ronald: Why are you so viciously callous?
Andy: It's how I deal with my continuous grief.
Henry Coffield: I'm not a kid anymore, Simone. If you can't be kind about the people you feel kindness towards, you're no damn good.
Det. Bobby Simone: The way I look at that, Henry: if we're still drawing breath, we have a chance to do something on our shortcomings besides piss and moan.
Andy: (to his AA? sponsor, whose son keeps beating him up) "Regret for the past is a waste of spirit." You told me that, remember?
Det. Connie McDowell: (after Theo walks in on her getting out of the shower) Did you drop Theo off at school?
Andy: I dropped him off at Hooters. He insisted.
Dr. Talbot: He needs to be tranquillized.
Andy: You pull a tranquillizer gun on me and the safari stops at the dentist! He's got the wrong elephant.
Det. Bobby Simone: What happened, Vince?
Det. Vince Gotelli: Two guys came in the bar, ordered a drink, then pulled their guns and held up the place. Then all of a sudden they started shooting. I pulled my piece and shot back. I think I hit one, but then I went down.
Det. Bobby Simone: But you weren't hit, were you?
Det. Vince Gotelli: No, chest pains. One of the guys left holding his shoulder. I wonder why I got chest pains at that moment?
Andy: Might be a sign from God to stay out of these titty bars, Vince.
A.D.A. Arnold Rosenthal: As it happens, the courts have upheld that a confession can be obtained by ruse or trick, so long as an innocent man wouldn't be deceived.
Andy: There's a relief.
A.D.A. Arnold Rosenthal: But that doesn't make me any more comfortable with what you've done.
Andy: What's your name again?
A.D.A. Arnold Rosenthal: Arnold Rosenthal.
Andy: Yeah, well, Arnold, why don't you leave me your card, and I'll be in touch the second that your comfort becomes important to me.
A.D.A. Arnold Rosenthal: I don't know what Sylvia sees in you.
ADA Sylvia Costas: (after being shot) Andy, take care of the baby!
Andy: (looking at Simone) "Protude the point for me..."
Andy: (Simone uses his middle finger to get the pen point out) "I keep sticking myself in the eye."
(Jones and Sipowicz are questioning a suspect)
Elmo: Man, I can't go to no jail! What am I going to do about my bar?
Andy: Padlock it, Elmo, and reopen in three to five.
Elmo: Three to five days?
Det. Baldwin Jones: Check out Elmo; Mr. Positive Thinking.
Andy: That's three to five *years*, nitwit.
Det. Danny Sorenson: Ok, Nicki; we know you and Derek planned to steal Beller's art. Now. Derek pulling a gun on Detective Sipowicz moves him to the top of the list. What you want to do is try to help yourself by wearing a wire when we put you two together and getting Derek to admit that he was the one who planned the whole thing.
Nicki Cameron: If I do that, will I be implicated in the theft?
Det. Danny Sorenson: You're already implicated, Nicki; your cooperation in helping us nail Derek will buy you some good will with the DA and the judge.
Det. Diane Russell: This is where you want to say yes, Nicki.
(an older woman is coming on to Sorenson)
Andy: You know, sad thing is, back when I was drinking, many's the night I'd have thrown a hump into that.
Det. Danny Sorenson: My father died when I was like six years old. My mother, she couldn't take care of me and my sisters so she send us over here to live with her sister. I was born in Norway, but over here we lived in Albany. So, was I like your first Norwegian screw?
Officer Mary Franco: Not even close.
(Medavoy and Jones are discussing a DOA)
Det. Greg Medavoy: Some of these working girls tell me this guy was a pimp. Imagine that; a white pimp. I mean, how does that happen, D?
Det. Baldwin Jones: Equal opportunity, Greg.
Register to update information, save favorites, post photos, news stories and comments.