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(after releasing the emergency brake on the FBI agents' car) Matilda: There's another crime in the making: your car is about to run a stop sign.

Zinnia Wormwood: (cutting off Harry's hat with scissors) I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did. Harry Wormwood: I did *not* glue my hat to my head! The hat shrunk! The fibers are fused to my hair!

(Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house) Jenny: Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think... Agatha Trunchbull: (grabbing and clenching Miss Honey's wrist very tightly in her fist) I broke your hand once before; I can do it again, Jenny. Jenny: I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! (the class gasps) Agatha Trunchbull: Shut your mouths!

Matilda: (to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts) You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon. FBI Agent Bill: (to his partner) It's the female minor. FBI Agent Bob: Aren't you supposed to be in school, young lady? Matilda: I really hope you have a search warrant. According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison. FBI Agent Bob: It's your father who's going to federal prison. And you know where you'll end up? FBI Agent Bill: In a federal orphanage. FBI Agent Bob: If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage. FBI Agent Bill: The kind with food... and teeny-weeny cockroaches. FBI Agent Bob: What do you say?

Harry Wormwood: (to Matilda, after deliberately destroying her book) I'm fed up with all this reading! You're a Wormwood; you start acting like one!

Agatha Trunchbull: (wielding a hammer throw) Some rats are gonna die today.

Agatha Trunchbull: The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. PERSPERATION! If you cannot handle the little brat, I'LL LOCK HER IN THE CHOKEY! (she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely) Agatha Trunchbull: Get it? Jenny: (nods) Yes mam. Agatha Trunchbull: One day Jen you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. And for the good of those PUTRESCENT LITTLE CHILDREN! (she shoves Jenny out of the office)

Agatha Trunchbull: (her car has broken down) Come on, move you piece of junkyard fodder! Shift you...!

Agatha Trunchbull: (speaking to Matilda about her and her father) You're the most corrupt low-lives in the history of civilization!

Harry Wormwood: (to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers) Chew your food; you're an animal!

Matilda: We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. Jenny: What? Matilda: Just kidding.

Matilda: Dad? Harry Wormwood: What? Matilda: Yell at me, ok? Harry Wormwood: SHUT UP AND LEAVE US ALONE!

Harry Wormwood: What is this trash you're reading? Matilda: It's not trash, Daddy, It's lovely. Its caled Moby Dick by Herman Melvile. Harry Wormwood: Moby What?

Agatha Trunchbull: What are those? Amanda Thripp: What's what Ms. Trunchbull? Agatha Trunchbull: Hanging down by your ears, Amanda Thripp: You mean my pig tails Agatha Trunchbull: Are you a pig Amanda? Amanda Thripp: No, Ms. Trunchbull. Agatha Trunchbull: Do I allow Pigs in my school? Amanda Thripp: My mommy thinks they're sweet. Agatha Trunchbull: (bends down) Your Mommy, is a TWIT!

Jenny: (sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull) Oh my. My father's portrait used to hang there. Matilda: Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. A really strong stomach.

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