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Richie Norris: Wow, he just made the international sign of the doughnut.

Martian Translator Device: Don't run! We are your friends!

Grandma Florence Norris: Richie, I think these guys are very sick.

President Dale: Rest assured that we will soon come out at a very real outcome.

President Dale: I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad.

Byron Williams: Barbara, you alright?
Barbara Land: Huh? I need a drink...
Rude Gambler: You and me both baby!

(Pitching a hotel-casino idea)
Art Land: If the Martians land, the're gonna need a place to stay. Just like everybody else.

Rude Gambler: You wanna conquer the world, you're going to need lawyers, right?

(Challenging a Martian to a fistfight)
Byron Williams: No weapons! No tricks! Just you and me! Byron Williams! The heavyweight champion of the world!

Martian Translator Device: All green of skin... 800 centuries ago, their bodily fluids include the birth of half-breeds. For the fundamental truth self-determination of the cosmos, for dark is the suede that mows like a harvest.
General Decker: What the hell does that mean?

Richie Norris: I want to thank my Grandma for always being so good to me, and, and for helping save the world and everything.

Art Land: (Repeatedly) Wow!

Nathalie Lake: Jason, hi. It's me.
Jason Stone: Are you wearing a bra?

Martian Translator Device: We come in peace! We come in peace!

Richie Norris: (after watching the Martians kill Congress on TV) Why did they do that?
Hispanic woman at donut shop: Maybe they no liking the human being.

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