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If you get half a million, at a certain stage you probably will get 4 million people, if they are able to hear it. The touring thing is unbelievable. It really is amazing from what we did the last tour even to what we are doing now.


I think people right now, the age they are, being 21 and 22, really do want to find a group of bands they can take with them through life.


I get recognized somewhere in between like local meteorologist and national meteorologist


I've realized you can use a fork as a spoon if you use it rapidly enough.


It is too easy to watch music coming out of people's mouths lately and you're not quite sure if it was written with the best of intentions.


Hopefully people can see my music is tethered to my brain.


So we've got one more song to play for you tonight...(crowd grumbles)...what, you know there's an encore too. The encore is sort of like the condom in the pocket: everybody knows it's there but nobody talks about it.


I love you all so much. We really need to come up with a new name for 'fans'. How about really good friends who can't come over my house.


Ladies, if you want to know the way to my heart...good spelling and good grammar, good punctuation, capitalize only where you are supposed to capitalize, it's done.


I love coconut, because when you think you're done eating coconut, 25 minutes later, a little piece of coconut comes out of the back of your mouth, and then you say, Hey! It's more coconut!" I think any food with that kind of determination needs a little respect."


(crowd cheers) "That was a good response and I'm not going to ask you to do it again. There's nothing I hate more than going to a concert and the guy says 'You having a good time?' and you scream your head off and then the guy says 'I can't hear you!' and I'm like 'The fuck you can't!' I absolutely hate it when guys do that. So I promise you I'll never make you do that. If you scream respectably the first time anyway."


I've always said I've got the coolest fans, and I brag about you like grandchildren when I talk to other artists


(As he ties his shoe onstage) "It's very difficult to tie one shoe with the same tension as the other one, because if one should be a little tighter than the other, the show's gonna suck. I'm a man of symmetry."


Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, you'd bring me up in conversation forever. And when it rained, I'd be the talk of the day.


I hope that what it comes down to at the end of the day is that people believe that I believe what I'm singing. It comes down to being believable. You don't have to be likeable; generally, though, I think I am.


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