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Ricky Ricardo: I don't like that tone. You are thinking again. Lucy Ricardo: There's no law about me going to Romanov's. Perhaps maybe stopping by your table and... Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, if I so much as see your face at Romanov's, I'm gonna wrap you up in brown paper and mail you back to New York. And that's an ultimatum. Ethel Mertz: An ultimatum? I'm not surprised. Lucy Ricardo: I am. I didn't think he knew how to pronounce it.

Ricky Ricardo: (with heavy accent) I won't switch apartments. Understand? Lucy Ricardo: Yes. Ricky Ricardo: What did I say? Lucy Ricardo: "I wun't swish aparments".

Lucy Ricardo: Ricky, I'd like you to meet my second first husband.

Ricky Ricardo: Who's that? Fred Mertz: Who's that? WHAT'S that?

(Ricky and Lucy are doing a show together) Ricky Ricardo: Hey, Lucy, did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Lucy Ricardo: I'll bet some heel started it. Ricky Ricardo: You're supposed to say, "What happened?" Lucy Ricardo: What's that? Ricky Ricardo: What happened? Lucy Ricardo: 200 soles were lost.

(Ricky and Lucy are doing a show together) Ricky Ricardo: I've got a joke you never heard in your life. I know a girl who's so dumb she thinks a football coach has four wheels. Ha ha ha. (Audience is silent) Lucy Ricardo: How many wheels does it have? (Audience laughs)

(inside an Italian train with a cramped seat Fred's asleep) Ethel Mertz: Fred, Fred, wake up sleeping beauty. Lucy Ricardo: You couldn't wake him up with a stick of dynamite. Ethel Mertz: Hey I got an idea (yells) Ethel Mertz: Hey look there goes Gina Lollobrigida. Fred Mertz: (gets up from his seat excited) Where? Where? Where?

(repeated line) Ricky Ricardo: Lucy! I'm Home!

(while watching Lucy and Ricky kiss) Ethel Mertz: Isn't that sweet? Just like two lovebirds. Fred Mertz: What are you, a bird watcher?

Lucy Ricardo: We have to find Sylvia Collins a husband but where? Ethel Mertz: I'll make the sacrifice she can have mine.

Ethel Mertz: What are you writing about? Lucy Ricardo: I'm writing about things I know. Ethel Mertz: That won't be a novel that will be a short story

Ricky Ricardo: (losing his temper after Lucy screwed up his chance to be in a Broadway Play) You did what? Lucy Ricardo: I was only trying to help. Ricky Ricardo: (shouting) Help? Lucy Ricardo: HELP.

Lucy Ricardo: Lets see, it was either the upstairs maid or the butler Ricky Ricardo: It was her husband Lucy Ricardo: Her husband? He didn't have any reason to do it Ricky Ricardo: He was married wasn't he

Ethel Mertz: Imagine me meeting a Queen face to face, I'm scared. Fred Mertz: You're scared? Think of the Queen.

Ethel Mertz: Where you afraid you'd lose me? Fred Mertz: I'll say, that outfit you're wearing is rented.

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