Lorelai: The freaking Blue Man Group is outside our house! Rory: I was sleeping through it! Lorelai: It had to have woken you up. Rory: No, my insane mother Margot Kidder Gilmore woke me up.
Rory: So do you like cake? Dean: What? Rory: They make really good cakes here. They're very... round. Dean: Okay, I'll remember that. Rory: Good. Make a note. You wouldn't want to forget where the round cakes are.
Rory: And we get to wear uniforms. No more having people check you out to see what jeans you're wearing 'cause everyone's dressed alike in boring clothes and just there to learn. Lane: Okay, there's academic-minded and then there's Amish.
Michel: People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them.
Lorelai: This is it. She can finally go to Harvard like she's always wanted and get the education that I never got and get to do all the things that I never got to do and then I can resent her for it and we can finally have a normal mother-daughter relationship.
Mrs. Kim: Boys don't like funny girls. Rory: Noted.
Emily: Champagne, anyone? Lorelai: Oh, that's fancy. Emily: Well it's not every day I have my girls here for dinner on a day the banks are open.
Rory: You know, it sucks that after all these years your mom still hates me. Lane: She doesn't hate you. Rory: She hates my mother. Lane: She doesn't trust unmarried women. Rory: You're unmarried. Lane: I'm hayriding with a future proctologist. I have potential.
Rory: When are you going to let your parents know that you listen to the evil rock music? You're an American teenager, for God's sake. Lane: Rory, if my parents still get upset over the obscene portion size of American food, I seriously doubt I'm gonna make any inroads with Eminem.
Lorelai: Oh, hi. You really like my table don't you? Joey: I was just, uh... Lorelai: Getting to know my daughter. Joey: Your... Rory: Are you my new daddy? Joey: Wow. You do not look old enough to have a daughter. No, I mean it. And you do not look like a daughter. Lorelai: That's possibly very sweet of you, Joey. Thanks. Joey: So... daughter. You know, I am traveling with a friend. Lorelai: She's sixteen. Joey: Bye.
Luke: Junkie. Lorelai: Angel. You've got wings, baby.
(Lorelai is avoiding her parents after they found out she's dating Jason) Rory: Did you talk to your parents yet? Lorelai: No. Rory: Have you *tried* talking to your parents yet? Lorelai: No. Rory: That's my little Kofi Annan!
(Lorelai is buying collector's stamps while Luke is signing for his divorce) Lorelai: Do you have any Lucille Balls left? Kirk: Yes, I have some Balls. (Luke stares at him)
(after Floyd tells the Gilmores that Jason is dating Lorelai) Jason: I have a bottle of vodka back at my place. A big bottle of vodka. The world's biggest bottle. Lorelai: What'll you drink? Jason: Gin.
Lorelai: I'm going to make out in the coatroom. Don't eat my chicken. Rory: That's going on your tombstone.
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