Lorelai: Women don't eat at all. They just look at food then jump on the treadmill.
Lorelai: Oh! One of them has seen Ghostbusters a hundred and twenty-seven times. (sarcastic) Lorelai: Can you say score?
Kirk: I love carrot sticks, especially the crinkle cut kind.
Sookie: (to Lorelai about Luke) He has had to watch you go from one guy to another, and then the engagement was on, and then the engagement was off, and patiently, he's waited. And in walks this kid and he says "My God, will she date anyone else in the world before she'll date me?"
Kirk: Man, I wish my mom would let me have a car, or a bike... or my roller skates back.
Lorelai: I thought all butlers' names were Jeeves.
Rory: Uhh, Barry Manilow. Lorelai: Ugh, stop. Rory: Looks like we made it... Lorelai: Oh, yeah? Spice Girls. Rory: Duran Duran. Lorelai: Dido. Rory: Olivia Newton John. Lorelai: The Macarena. You and Lane for hours and hours, for weeks on end. Rory: Hey, we were mocking. You can't mock the mocking. Lorelai: All right. It's getting ugly. Let's stop. Rory: Let's be friends again. Lorelai: All right. Rory: Hmm-hmm. Lorelai: Stop it.
Lorelai: Are you two completely out of your mind? There is a ceremony going on in there. Young girls in ugly dresses and stupid fans are parading around in circles for God knows what reason, and you two are ruining it.
Emily: Well, I had this wonderful idea. Christopher's parents are in town too. You remember Straub and Francine don't you? Lorelai: Ah yes - the Schnickelfritzes. Emily: The who? Lorelai: The Hayden's.
Michel: There's a man with a funny accent on the phone asking for you. Lorelai: Really? Did you guys exchange the secret handshake?
French Businessman: (walks up to the front desk) Bonjour, monsieur. Vous Ítes FranÁais? Vous parlez FranÁais? (Hello, sir. Are you French, do you speak French?) Michel: No, sorry. French Businessman: Mais vous avez une accent FranÁais. Vous parlez pas FranÁais? (but you have a French accent. Don't you speak French?) Michel: Sir, I'm just a simple country boy from Texas. I do not understand this "FranÁais" business you're babbling about. Lorelai: (approaches) Pardon. (takes Michel aside) Lorelai: He knows you are not from Texas. Michel: (looking over at the businessmen) Smile when you say that. Lorelai: Michel, I told you there would be a French group here for a couple of days, and it's your job to keep them happy. Michel: Lorelai, I don't know how many French people you've met over the years, but most of them are insufferable. Lorelai: (sarcastically) Really? Michel: Mm. That is why I left France. Lorelai: Huh. I thought it had something to do with the torches and the villagers. Michel, talk to them. Michel: Never. (turns away from Lorelai, she just glares at him) Michel: You are giving me that look, aren't you? Your patented "Do it or something unspeakable shall befall you" look. (pause, sighs) Michel: Fine, I shall be French, but I shall not be happy. Lorelai: Then you will be yourself. Good choice. Michel: (trudges over to the businessmen) Bonjour, messieurs. Je m'appelle Michel, ce soir pour vous aider. (Hello, gentlemen, my name is Michel, I am here to assist you) French Businessman: (laughs) Vous avez fait un blague to?t • l'heure! TrËs drÙle, trËs drÙle, Michel! (you played a joke just now! Very funny, very funny!) French Businessman: (kisses both his cheeks) Michel: (pretends to laugh, to Lorelai) Kill me now.
Rory: (into phone) And then he showed up with a black eye. Lorelai: (into phone) A black guy? Rory: (into phone) No, eye!
Dean: Wanna hammer something? Rory: Always.
Customer: I've been waiting for 10 minutes! Luke: Sorry, not even close to the record.
(Miss Patty's ballerinas are practising walking around with books on their heads) Miss Patty: Now, walk smooth. That's the new Harry Potter on your heads. If they should drop, Harry will die, and there won't be anymore books.
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