Damon: (looking at Money Mike with crazed lust) Craig, introduce me to yo' friend.
Day-Day: Man, What about the fine ass hos I had coming here. Day-Day: They said they were gonna fuck for a buck, do something strange for a little piece of change, and I know we're gonna make them Holler for a doller. Day-Day: One of 'em said they'd suck my dick from the back. I ain't never had that, ever happen to me, I'm trying to see what that be like. Badaba badaba ba.
Craig Jones: (walks into kitchen to discover Burglar dressed as Santa Claus eating a sandwich) Craig Jones: What the hell you doing in my house; eating a big ass sandwich and shit? Santa Claus: Nigga, I'm Santa Claus; where the FUCK the milk and cookies?
Day-Day: All want Santa Claus is two fat bitches and a bag of weed and two bag of chips to give to the fat bitches
Money Mike: Do y'all got a bathroom up in here? I gotta piss like a Russian racehorse at the Kentucky Derby with a glue truck behind it.
Day-Day: (to Elroy) Daddy, he gon' shoot yo ass! Get up the damn wall!
Money Mike: (a pimp manniquin falls on Mike, pinning him to the floor) This is bullshit. I'm stuck between a pimp and a hard place. Donna, man down! Eleven thirty: pimp in distress!
Day-Day: You gonna make me blow this whistle, I'll clear all this shit out.
Sister Sarah: Fuck you AND your whistle.
Craig Jones: How is she gonna like you when she like me?
Day-Day: Because she hadn't seen me yet.
Craig Jones: I wish I hadn't seen you yet.
Craig Jones: (narrating) Man, I couldn't believe how Day-Day was actin'. Ever since he got that whistle 'round his neck, he been actin' like a real asshole rent-a-cop. Look at him.
Craig Jones: Get yo titty off my chin.
Sister Sarah: (after being accosted by Craig and Day-Day) Let's go in the church and we're gonna pray for these niggas.
Craig Jones: What you need to do is grab one of these fine females and get your boogie on.
Damon: I don't wanna dance with none of these hos.
Day-Day: (interrupting a trio of carolers) Heaven and a... fuck all that shit! Y'all hos gotta get up off the corner with that.
Sister Sarah: Excuse me, sugar, what did you say?
Day-Day: Y'all heard me what I said. I said y'all hos gotta get off this corner
Sister Sarah: You better watch yo little filthy mouth. You are talking to children of the lord.
Day-Day: I want you to know who you're talking to too: top flight motherfucking security.
Craig Jones: (running up) Hey wait a minute, Day-Day, you can't talk to these old-ass ladies like that!
Girl Driver: I ain't never heard no policy like that.
Day-Day: Well you never met a top-flight security nigga like me.
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