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Sniper: (into walkie-talkie) The bear is down. Repeat, the bear is down.
(to other sniper)
Sniper: We got the bear.
Sniper: I think that's a Wookie. That's a Wookie!
Sniper: No it's not! It's a bear!
Sniper: (into walkie-talkie) Is a Wookie a bear, Control?


Barry: You'll end up on YouTube, blowing Lassie in a ditch!


Barry: (after starting a discussion about training camps) I object to the term training camps!


Barry: You can fuck her, but you can't kill her? What's wrong with you?


Barry: What's with the gun?
Waj: Proper replica man.
Barry: It's too small man!
Waj: Not too small, brother. Big hands!


Waj: Yeah! Fuck mini Babybel!


Omar: (to Sophia) I'm taking my team up to the top floor now. I'll see you up there.


Malcolm Storge MP: The report makes crystal clear that the police shot the right man, but as far as I'm aware, the wrong man exploded. Is that clear?


Ed: (conversing on the phone) Right so what sort of girls are you into, then, Waj?
Waj: I don't know. Ones with big jubblies and that.
Ed: Yeah? You like them big, Waj? Yeah.
Waj: And nice fit arses, too, man.
Ed: You're an arse man, aren't you, Waj? I knew you were, bro. You're an arse man. You're a massive arse man.
Waj: What are you saying?
Ed: I'm saying you're an arse man, Waj.
Waj: You giving me batty chirps, bro? You calling me a whammer?
Ed: No.
Waj: Fuck off!
(Ends phone conversation)
Waj: Fucking Boy George!


Waj: Aye up you unbelievin' Kuffar bastards! I'm gonna turn you to baked beans.


Hassan: (Raps) I'm the Mujahideen and I'm making a scene / Now you's gonna feel what the boom-boom means / It's like Tupac said, "When I die, I'm not dead"/ We are the martyrs, you're just smashed tomatoes / Allahu Akbar!
(Audience screams as Hassan detonate his suicide belt releasing party streams)
Barry: (Silent from audience) Mashallah, brother
(Murmurs from the audience)
Hassan: (Looking at the audiences) Oh, what, man? Come on. What? Just cos I'm Muslim, you thought it was real?


Ahmed: Why not come to our study group, Omar?
Omar: What, and get a four-hour dose of that face? The floaty face of the wise bird, hovering on a million quotes, about to do a massive wisdom shit on my head.


Barry: They'll pump you full of Viagra. Make you fuck a dog!


Waj: We'll blow something up.
Omar: What we gonna blow up Waj?
Waj: Internet.


Police Inspector: You're gonna die in that gear lads
Omar: More than likely, but it's for a good cause


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