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Shadrach Dingle: Cousin of the accused with her kit off, you'll make a bomb.
Chastity Dingle: Unless you want your teeth introduced to your throat, I suggest you shut it.
Shadrach Dingle: Fair enough.

Rodney Blackstock: Eric, if you don't belt up, I shall thump you.
Eric Pollard: (in chuckle) Sorry? I really am sorry. You must be devastated.
Rodney Blackstock: Twerp.

Terry Woods: Trouble in paradise?
Christopher 'Chris' Tate: There were no children in the garden of Eden.

Matthew King: Face it Jimmy, in my position you'd have done the same thing!
Jimmy King: That's where you're wrong, cause me, I've got morals!
Sadie King: Yes, but you haven't got the haulage business, have you?

Kim Barker: You're a DINOSAUR, Frank... and you know what happened to THEM.

Diane Blackstock: (shouting into the pup) I am not having the menopause! I had it five years ago! Have you all got that through there?

Eric Pollard: More chance of a stimulating conversation in a graveyard.
Louise Appleton: Must've heard you were coming, Eric.

Viv Windsor: I suppose you've got some excuse.
Louise Appleton: And... what's that?
Viv Windsor: You're Australian, aren't you? All your ancestors were convicts. You probably just can't help yourself.
Louise Appleton: It was just a silly mistake, a bit like that outfit!

Christopher 'Chris' Tate: (talking to Debbie about math) Don't let anybody tell you that two wrongs don't make it right.

Terry Woods: (to Diane Blackstock) It's my life they're messing with. You and all.

Jimmy King: A day which has been etched in my memory... as I'm sure it will be in yours. Perhaps Dad would like to tell us all why he had his tongue, down Sadie's throat earlier.
Matthew King: (angrily, after stunned silence) Is this true?
Sadie King: No... it... it wasn't like that!
Jimmy King: You should have heard him! Begging for it, he was. "All this could be yours Sadie!" Hands everywhere. And, like the practised whore she is, she got right into it!
Matthew King: You're sleeping together? You and me father? YOU two?
Sadie King: Why the hell would I do that?
Matthew King: You mercenary gold-digger! Yer sick! You call the man DAD for God's sake!

(Shadrach has drunk a whole bottle of communion wine)
Ethan Blake: What do you usually do with him?
Zak Dingle: Wish he'd never been born!

Sam: (to Tom King) You're a proper nob.

Matthew King: (regarding Sam Dingle) So... Simple Sam's had a baby, then?
Carl King: Awww, come on. He was made up!
Tom King: That lad would be made up if you gave him a yo-yo...

(Lisa has just punched Zak on the jaw)
Marlon: They'll put you in the cop car.
Sam: Are you dead, Dad?
Zak: No, I just feel like it.

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