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Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Flat out like a lizard drinkin'.


Sue Charlton: (helping Mick get settled in to his NYC apartment) There's a TV over there if you get bored.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Oh, yeah - - I remember television from way back. I saw it at a buddy's house one time.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: (turns on the set and sees an "oldies re-run" of an "I Love Lucy" show pop up on the screen) Yup - - that's what I saw that time.


(Dundee hears a noise at night, shushes Sue, and quietly exits their campground)
Sue Charlton: Oh, Christ, it's like living with Davy Crockett.


Sue Charlton: (Sue and Mick are dancing) Legend has it a crocodile took half your leg off.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: ...
(Mick rolls up his trousers)
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: More like a love bite really. Here ya are, enough about me leg. Let me tell you about the rest of me. "Up North in the Never-Never, where the land is harsh and bare, lives a mighty hunter named Mick Dundee
(points to himself)
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: who can dance like Fred Astaire".


Richard Mason: New York City, Mr. Dundee. Home to seven million people.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: That's incredible. Imagine seven million people all wanting to live together. Yeah, New York must be the friendliest place on earth.


Sue Charlton: Is it dead?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: (looks at the crocodile with his knife in its skull) Well, if it isn't, it'll be a helluva job skinning the bastard.


Neville Bell: (Mick has just snuck up on Nev and is holding his knife to Nev's throat) Ah, Mick! You frightened shit out of me!
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: So I oughta, mate. Sneaking up on a man when he's rendering first aid to a lady.
Neville Bell: Ah, is that what you were doing?


(Mick "Crocodile" Dundee singing in the bathtub)
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: If I give my heart to you...
(pause)
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Then I'll have none and you'll have two...


Teenage Mugger: (Dundee and Sue are approached by a black youth stepping out from the shadows, followed by some others) You got a light, buddy?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Yeah, sure kid.
(reaches for lighter)
Teenage Mugger: (flicks open switchblade) And your wallet!
Sue Charlton: (guardedly) Mick, give him your wallet.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: (amused) What for?
Sue Charlton: (cautiously) He's got a knife.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: (chuckles) That's not a knife.
(he pulls out a large bowie knife)
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: THAT's a knife.
(Dundee slashes the teen mugger's jacket and maintains eyeball to eyeball stare)
Teenage Mugger: Shit!
(he and his friends run off)
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: (to Sue) Just kids having fun. You all right?
Sue Charlton: (relieved) I'm always all right when I'm with you, Dundee.


Sue Charlton: How does he find his way in the dark?
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: He "thinks" his way. A lot of people believe that they're telepathic.
(Sounds of branches breaking, splashing)
Neville Bell: OOOOh, God, I hate the bush.


Neville Bell: Oh no, you can't take my photograph.
Sue Charlton: Oh, I'm sorry, you believe it will take your spirit away.
Neville Bell: No, you got lens-cap on it.


Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: For a minute there uh, "room-service" took on a whole new meaning.


Sue Charlton: People go to a psychiatrist to talk about their problems. She just needed to unload them. You know, bring them out in the open.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Hasn't she got any mates?
Sue Charlton: You're right. I guess we could all use more mates. I suppose you don't have any shrinks at Walkabout Creek.
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: No back there if you got a problem you tell Wally. And he tells everyone in town, brings it out in the open, no more problem.


Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: (Mick brings stuffed croc up to the bar after making his grand entrance) Two beers, Ida. One for me, and one for me mate.
Ida: (laughing) One for your mate! Ya mad bugger!


Walter Reilly: Right, well, ah. 'Till Wednesday. Cheerio
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Wednesday
(Walks off, pauses, turns back to Walter)
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: What's today, Wal?
Walter Reilly: Monday
(Mick walks away)
Walter Reilly: Doesn't know. Doesn't care. Heh! Lucky Bastard.


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