Shelley Unwin: Peter. It's Dougie Ferguson... he's been hurt.
Peter Barlow: Tripped over his ego has he?
(talking about café owner Roy Cropper and his transsexual wife Hayley)
Blanche Hunt: He's a looney and she's a man.
(on Christmas Day)
Blanche Hunt: This turkey is dry enough to choke a camel.
(talking about Eileen's father, Colin Grimshaw)
Blanche Hunt: I'd cut off his whatnots wi' a pair of garden shears, me. The rustier the better.
Rita Littlewood: I've seen some hard-faced bitches in my time but you take the bloody gold medal!
Les Battersby: (eating a turkey he had run over earlier) This is Champion Turkey, this!
Leanne Battersby: I can't eat this! Look, it's even got tyre marks on it!
Danny Baldwin: Call it a day, before the pink elephants start marching in!
Steve McDonald: You tell Karen about the baby, I will make you pay, I will make you suffer.
Richard Hillman: You should've stayed at the party, Maxine!
Richard Hillman: Why can't they leave us alone?
(Sally hands Kevin a leaflet)
Kevin Webster: "Websters' Auto Centre"?
Sally Seddon: Yeah, re-branding they call it. All the big firms are doing it. It's all about image these days. Now, the thing about flyers is it's all about the artwork and the larger the print run, the cheaper they are. You can claim it back on tax as an employment expense. I've had 10,000 run.
Kevin Webster: Sal! We are working flat out to try and get work done and you're wasting money!
Sally Seddon: Do you know what you sound like? You sound like a parent whose kids go to Weatherfield High, a parent with no ambition. But us, me and you, we are Oak Hill parents...
Kevin Webster: But what about the lads?
Sally Seddon: Never mind the lads. We'll take on some new staff, we'll expand, because all that matters is our girls. Our maths genius helped with all this. You've been too busy so I got Rosie to help me. I got three different quotes from three different printers, three different thicknesses of paper, one, two or three colours, and Rosie worked out all the different unit costs for me, so we've all been pulling our weight, which is why I need to talk to you about the apostrophe. Rosie was the one who spotted it, she's so sharp - I should have asked her to do the proof- reading. Anyway, it's only a little mistake and the printer's put it after the 'S' in Websters and now it looks like the auto centre belongs to all of the Websters instead of just you! It's going to cost another 300 quid to get it fixed, but I figure only bright spots like Rosie would notice and she's probably going to be your accountant in a few years' time and with you being so busy I'm going to have to start coming into the office and doing your admin full time, but don't worry Kevin I'm not expecting any wages, 'cos you'll still be in charge of the lads, and you do what you're good at, and I'll do what I'm good at, and Rosie can go to Oak Hill, the apostrophe can stay where it is because in a way it's all fate, isn't it? We will be the Websters' family auto centre!
Sean Tully: (in a vet's waiting room) Oh, what a lovely parrot!
Parrot: Sod off!
Karen Phillips: Try any more stunts like that, and I will be booking your funeral!
(Marvin and Ashley square up ahead of their big fight)
Marvin Maddocks: When the bell starts ringing and the trainer says "Go", I'm telling you, girlie, there's something you ought to know. Your knees are going to tremble, your feet will turn to lead. I'm going to smack your nose into the back of your head.
Norris Cole: (after seeing his ex wife) It were like seeing a vicar in a tracksuit, unnerving.
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