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Casey : “You break her heart, I break your everything.”

Sarah: “You might as well have posted about our fight on Friendster!” Chuck: “Friendster? Honey, people stopped using Friendster five years ago."

Jeff : “My life would be a never-ending Cialis commercial if I had her.”

Morgan :“Seriously? Does no one care there’s a cobra in there?”

Chuck : “Most people’s moms don’t have to explain why they shot them or tied them up and blew up their childhood home!”

Morgan : “I don’t know what kind of crisis you’re in, but mine’s carrying AK-47s and just took over the store.”

Chuck : “How can I trust what she says? Every time I do, I get shot or blown up. I haven’t been stabbed yet...”

Chuck: “Guys, I know kung fu. Again.”

Morgan: “Holy hell, Sarah, you just scared me to death! I thought you could be somebody deadly!” Sarah: “I am somebody deadly. And I know everything."

Morgan: “I can’t be here alone with that woman. John, she wants me. Physically.” Casey: “And I’m hunting unicorns."

Chuck: “All we have to do is get through four inches of solid steel.” Sarah: “Or we chop off Casey’s hand." Chuck: “Let’s keep that as our backup plan, shall we?"

Sarah: “Chuck, are you about to disarm a nuclear bomb using fruit juice?”

Lester Patel: Yeah, sure it's going to blow their minds, but uh, where does all this *lead*? Stadium, groupies, creative differences? And then what? Jeffster breaks up? That's you and me, Jeff! And then what's my fate? Some chambermaid finds me in some hotel room having accidentally asphyxiated while making love to myself! It's not worth it! (Storms out. Jeff turns and faces Ellie and Awesome) Jeff Barnes: He's such a tortured artist.

Ted Roark: Put him in the helicopter. Kill the CIA agent. Steve Bartowski: He's my son. Ted Roark: He's your son? Congratulations! That's great! I had no idea! Kill the son.

Sarah Walker: No, I get it he's your best friend. Chuck Bartowski: You know you say that, but I don't think you have a clue what it means. Sarah, I don't have parents. I don't really talk about it because that's the way things are now. But it wasn't always this way. Morgan was there the first day my mom took off. He didn't say much. Because honestly what's a fifth grader supposed to say? But we sat there and split a cherry cheesecake and played Legend of Zelda all night long. And my dad, well that's - that's a whole other story. But Morgan was there for that too. Morgan is more than just my best friend. He's my family! Before you got here, and long after you've gone, Morgan is my family! Sarah Walker: ...Last night we failed to learn the contents of the Triad's container. And now we don't know what kind of drugs or weapons are floating around the city. And while I appreciate your friendship with Morgan. Losing sight of that container endangers many people's best friends, not just yours Chuck.

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