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Michael Moore: What if I had a spear?


Chris Rock: You don't need no gun control. You know what you need? We need some bullet control. We need to control the bullets. I think all bullets should cost $5,000. You know why? If a bullet cost $5,000 there'd be no more innocent bystanders. Every time somebody get shot "Dang, you must of did somethin'! Shit, they put 50,000 dollars worth of bullets in his ass!" And people would think before they killed somebody if a bullet cost $5,000. "Man, I would blow your fuckin' head off... if I could *afford* it! I'm a get me another job, I'm a start saving some money, then you a dead man!"


Michael Moore: (narrating) This is Matt Stone. He grew up in Littleton and has fond memories of Columbine. Matt Stone: Yeah, Columbine, it's just, you know, a crappy school in the middle of a bunch of crappy houses.


Michael Moore: Our children get turned into little monsters, but who's to blame?


Michael Moore: (as Charlton Heston is walking away from Moore) Mr. Heston? Just one more thing. (Heston turns around) Michael Moore: This is who she is - or was. Michael Moore: (Moore holds up a picture of Kayla Holland) This is her. (Heston ignores Moore and continues to walk away) Michael Moore: Mr. Heston, please don't leave. Mr. Heston, please take a look at her. This is the girl.


Father of Columbine victim: I am here today because my son Daniel would want me to be here today. If my son Daniel was not one of the victims, he would be here with me today. Something is wrong in this country when a child can grab a gun, grab a gun so easily, and shoot a bullet into the middle of a child's face, as my son experienced. Something is wrong. But the time has come to come to understand that a Tech-9 semi-automatic -bullet weapon like that, that killed my son, is not used to kill deer. It has no useful purpose. It is time to address this problem.


Michael Moore: After Columbine, no one could figure out why the boy had resorted to violence.


Michael Moore: Thank you for not shooting me.


Michael Moore: Well, here's my first question: Do you think it's a little dangerous handing out guns at a bank?


Michael Moore: One thing was clear. It still sucked being a teenager. And it really sucked going to school.


Charlton Heston: (At an National Rifles Association meeting) I have only five words for you: FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS!


John Nichols: No one has the right to tell me I can't have it. That is protected on our constitution.
Michael Moore: Where does it say a handgun is protected?
John Nichols: No, gun. We should...
Michael Moore: (interupting) It doesn't say gun. It says "arms".
John Nichols: Arms. What is "arms"?
Michael Moore: Could be a nuclear weapon.
John Nichols: It's not these - That's right. It could be a nuclear weapon.
Michael Moore: Do you think you should have the right to have weapons-grade plutonium here in the farm field?
John Nichols: We should be able to have anything...
Michael Moore: (interupting) Should you have weapons? Should you have weapons-grade plutonium?
John Nichols: I don't want it.
Michael Moore: But, should you have the right to have it if you did want it?
John Nichols: (thinking about it) That should be restricted.
Michael Moore: Oh. Oh, so you do beleive in some restrictions?
John Nichols: Well, there's wackos out there.


Michael Moore: Ten days after the Columbine killing, Charlton Heston came to Denver and held a large pro-gun rally.


John Nichols: I use the pen, because the pen is mightier than the sword. But you must always keep a sword handy for when the pen fails.


(last lines)
Michael Moore: Yes, it was a glorious time to be an American.


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