Josephine: Oh, so this is a tall tale? Senior Ed Bloom: Well, it's not a short one.
Will Bloom: (to Ed) You're like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny combined - just as charming, and just as fake.
Ed Bloom (Age 10): I was thinking about death and all. About seeing how you're gonna die. I mean, on one hand, if dying was all you thought about, it could kind of screw you up. But it could kind of help you, couldn't it? Because you'd know that everything else you can survive.
Senior Ed Bloom: I caught an uncatchable fish.
Senior Ed Bloom: There's a time when a man needs to fight, and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny is lost... the ship has sailed and only a fool would continue. Truth is... I've always been a fool.
Norther Winslow: I've been working on this poem for 12 years.
Young Ed Bloom: Really?
Norther Winslow: There's a lot of expectation. I don't wanna disappoint my fans.
Young Ed Bloom: May I?
Young Ed Bloom: (Edward reeds the poem on the notebook ) The grass so green Skies so blue. Spectre is really great!
Young Ed Bloom: It's only three lines long.
Norther Winslow: This is why you should never show a work in progress.
Young Ed Bloom: I just saw the woman I'm going to marry. I know it. But I lost her.
Amos Calloway: Oh, tough break. Well, most men have to get married *before* they lose their wives.
Young Ed Bloom: I'm gonna spend every day for the rest of my life looking for her. That, or die alone!
Amos Calloway: Damn, kid. Lemme guess. Real pretty? Reddish-blondish hair? Blue dress?
Young Ed Bloom: Yeah!
Amos Calloway: I know her uncle. Friends of the family.
Young Ed Bloom: Who is she? Where does she live?
Amos Calloway: Forget it kid, don't waste your time. She's out of your league.
Young Ed Bloom: What do you mean? You don't even know me.
Amos Calloway: Sure I do! You were hot shit back in Hickville, but here in the real world, you got squat! You don't have a plan, you don't have a job, you don't have anything except the clothes on your back.
Young Jenny: Promise me you'll come back
Young Ed Bloom: I promise. Someday. When I'm really supposed to.
Josephine: Oh, so this is a tall tale?
Senior Ed Bloom: Well, it's not a short one.
Senior Ed Bloom: You are in for a surprise.
Will Bloom: Am I?
Senior Ed Bloom: Havin' a kid changes everything. There's burping, the midnight feeding, and the changing.
Will Bloom: You do any of that?
Senior Ed Bloom: No. But I hear it's terrible. Then you spend years trying to corrupt and mislead this child, fill his head with nonsense, and still it turns out perfectly fine.
Will Bloom: You think I'm up for it?
Senior Ed Bloom: You learned from the best.
Amos Calloway: You were a big fish in a small pond, but this here is the ocean and your drownin'. Take my advice, go back to Puddleville; you'll be happy there.
Senior Ed Bloom: They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true. What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.
Will Bloom: Church people drive too slow.
Will Bloom: Have you ever heard a joke so many times you've forgotten why it's funny? And then you hear it again and suddenly it's new. You remember why you loved it in the first place.
Karl: I don't want to eat you. I just get so hungry. I'm just too big.
Young Ed Bloom: Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you're not too big? That maybe this place is just too small?
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