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Harry Archer: You know everyone's seeing satellites these days.

Harry Archer: Now you pulled a boner tonight and you know it.

Nancy Archer: I know where my husband is! He's with that woman!

Harry Archer: I should never have agreed to go back to her once we were separated.
Honey Parker: Why did you?
Harry Archer: You know why. I couldn't pry a nickel out of her. That community property routine only works for women! A man hasn't got a chance!
Honey Parker: Unless the wife dies.
(he looks around in shock;)
Honey Parker: I didn't say anything.
Harry Archer: You were thinking it!
Honey Parker: Not the same thing.

Deputy Charlie: What's with her? Is she off her rocker or what?
Sheriff Dubbitt: Don't look back. As long as she pays most of the taxes around here, we'll play along.

(Charlie finds a giant footprint on the Archer's yard)
Deputy Charlie: Wow! What is that?
Sheriff Dubbitt: I don't know. Whatever it is, it wasn't made by some Japanese gardener.

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