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Alcohol doesn't make you fat... it makes you Lean... on tables, chairs & random people!!

People are like boobs.. Some are big, some are small, some are real and some are fake! Which kind of boob are you?!

I went on and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.

I put my phone on airplane mode and it didn't fly:( Worst. Transformer. Ever.

Drop Pants, Not Bombs. Break Dance, Not Hearts. Draft Beer, Not People. Make LOVE, Not WAR.

What is up with this Ashley Purdy day tomorrow,I see? Do I need to dress up as myself?!

Being unique is what's cool. Normal? What's normal? A setting on a washing machine. No one wants to be that.

Rhinos are just fat unicorns. If we'd give them the time and attention they deserve, as well as a diet: They'd reveal their majestic ways

If you cross a pickle with a female deer...You get a dill-doe!

Correct: Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer!

Yeah Jake and Jinxx play guitars, Andy sings, I run around topless and play for the ladies.

Practice safe text, use commas!

The common missconseption about me? Well as most of you know. I am not female

yeh, so everyone in BVB is gettin song title Tattoo's. Guess I'll get "Perfect Weapon" tattooed on my penis... ha ha..

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