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C.J.: (C.J. thinks that Kerry's date to the prom is a lesbian) I think Monica might "oh-won-ica".


Kerry: Don't objectify me! Kyle: I wasn't, I was just staring at your body.


Kerry: He's a baller Travis "The Rainman": Holler! Kerry: Holler back, brother Travis "The Rainman": Yeaaaaaaah


Kerry: Yeah, because that’s your conundrum. Kyle: Look Mrs. H it’s been in my wallet for a year now and I haven’t used it I swear.


Kerry: (C.J. becoming first acquainted with the family) I suppose you're going to guess my weight, too. C.J.: 101.


Kerry: So, that's all you can think of to be thankful for? That you got the good hair? Bridget: No, I said it's what I'm most thankful for. Jim: And, what about you, Cate? What are you thankful for? Cate: Well, I'm thankful for my wonderful children, and for my great dad and my mom even though she couldn't be here. Jim: That's what I'm thankful for.


Cate: Well, I guess we'll never know what happened. C.J.: My guess, he started eating as a small child and never stopped.


Cate: Uh, dad, maybe you wanna unplug that first. Jim: Oh, relax Cate. These little zaps make me feel alive. Jim: Fireflies!


Cate: I am now refereeing a pie fight. I feel like the mother of Amish teens.


Bridget: Ew. Your filling sucks. Kerry Hennessy: Yours smells like wet dog.


Ed Gibb: You show me hospitality. Jim: Out of my chair!


Cate: Can I get you something? Ed Gibb: No, no. I'm fine. I'm just watchin' the game. Cate: You're watching a broken TV. Ed Gibb: I'm a Lions fan. It's less painful this way.


Rory: Just throw the ball with me for five minutes. C.J.: Do I look like I have time for tom-foolery?


Ed Gibb: So, um. Need any help there? Jim: Are you some kind of engineer? Ed Gibb: No. I just... Jim: So what then? You think I need some kind of help because I'm old? Ed Gibb: No, I really... Jim: Well, let me tell you somethin', college boy. Ed Gibb: Hey hey hey, if you hit me again, I am not coming for Christmas.


Cate: Look. I'm sorry. He's still upset because you took away his football. Ed Gibb: Cate, he dropkicked it across the cafeteria and into a bath of chocolate pudding. Cate: I'll go talk to him.


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