Paco: Hey Walter! I bet you fifty bucks Guy Grenouille throws a touchdown pass on the first play. Check it out! Paco: (Guy Grenouille throws an interception) Woo hoo hoo hoo! You owe me fifty bucks! Walter: You said it was gonna be a touchdown pass, you crazy asshole!
Bobby Boucher: (after Reading A Question About Benjamin Franklin) Ben Franklin Young Bobby Boucher: (Flashback To Bobby's Childhood) Mama, When Did Ben Franklin Invent Electricity? Mama Boucher: That's Nonsense, I Invented Electricity. Ben Franklin Is The Devil!
Dan Fouts: Bobby Boucher sure knocked the poop out of him. Brent Musburger: (Looks at Dan) Poop?
Casey Bugge: He poked me in the eye! Bobby Boucher: Captain Insano shows no mercy.
Coach Klein: (it's half-time at the Bourbon Bowl and they're in the locker room) Anybody got an idea? (Silence) Derek Wallace: Hey, remember the time Bobby tackled the referee by mistake? (Everybody chuckles) Lyle Robideaux: Yeah, that was pretty funny. How 'bout the time Bobby tackled the guy from Louisville, and threw him into the stands? (Everybody laughs) Guy Grenouille: Y'all remember the time he intercepted the ball and his pants fell off, and he ran for the touchdown bare ass? (Everybody laughs) Farmer Fran: Remember the time Bobby Boucher... (Begins to mumble in his southern drawl, and everybody stares at him) Bobby Boucher: (Bobby shows up in the locker room by surprise) Remember the time Bobby Boucher showed up at halftime and the Mud Dogs won the Bourbon Bowl do ya? (Everybody starts cheering and shouting)
Guy Grenouille: I don't want that loser on the team. Everybody's gonna laugh at us. Lyle Robideaux: Everybody already 'is' laughing at us. We haven't won a game since nineteen-ninetyFOUR.
Mama Boucher: (after Vicki Vallencourt mentions a football game) Foos-ball? Buncha overgrown monsters man-handlin' each other... 'Member when dat man wanted you to play foos-ball, Bobby?
Dan Fouts: The waterboy just needed some water! Brent Musburger: Wow Dan, did you come up with that all by yourself? Dan Fouts: Shut up, Brent.
Coach Klein: (after football player spits loogie in water tank) Are you all right? Bobby Boucher: I wasn't gonna do nothin', coach! Coach Klein: Well ya better do something. You gotta stick up for yourself, Bobby. Bobby Boucher: But what about the finally tuned athletic machine? Coach Klein: I am not telling you to go on a shooting rampage!
Townie: You can do it... you can do it all night loong!
Bobby Boucher: So that's what opening up a can of whoop-ass feels like. Coach Klein: Son, you just opened up a whole case of whoop-ass.
Mama Boucher: (to Bobby) You don't have what they call "the social skills." That's why you never have any friends, 'cept fo' yo' mama.
Vicki Vallencourt: (after Bobby has gotten his test scores back) Well, Bobby Boucher, welcome to manhood. I'll make sure to welcome you properly later. Bobby Boucher: Once again, I'm not quite sure what that means.
Mama Boucher: Bobby, deh ever catch dat gorilla that busted outa da zoo and punched you in da eye? Bobby Boucher: No Mama, the search continues.
Bobby Boucher: Excuse me ladies while I just go hang myself.