The Pink Panther » Quotes

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Chief Inspector Dreyfus: When I first heard the name Clouseau, he was a little nothing. Just another police officer in a small village far from Paris. He was the village idiot, I think.


Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Monsieur Larocque. Larocque: Yes. Inspector Jacques Clouseau: (talking about the vase stuck on his right hand) Is this vase of great value? Larocque: It is a worthless imitation. (slams the vase on the nearby desk in order to break it, but ends up breaking both the vase and the table in the process) Larocque: But that desk was... priceless.


(last lines) Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Ooh... that breeze feels good.


Inspector Jacques Clouseau: The day before the murder, you were seen hitting the victim and saying... what? Ponton: 'I am going to kill you, I am going to kill you'


Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You are Yuri the trainer who trains. Yuri: Yeah, that's right. Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I am looking for a dead body. Perhaps you can tell me where it is. Yuri: Oh, yeah. I heard it was in the locker room. You go down the hall, make a right and two lefts. (seeing that Clouseau has almost burst into laughter and is trying to control it) Yuri: You are finding something amusing here? Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I'll be honest with you. I - I find your accent quite funny. Where are you fvam? Yuri: From Russia. Gluant recruited me from the Russian military gym. Inspector Jacques Clouseau: (mocking him) "do-do-do-ba-ba-lo" Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You need to work on your accent. Yuri: What? Inspector Jacques Clouseau: What? Yuri: What? What? Inspector Jacques Clouseau: What? Yuri: What? Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I don't have time for this. I have to solve a murder.


(trying to teach Clouseau an English accent)
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a ham-bur-ger.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen".
Dialect Instructor: I would like to buy a hamburger!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to buy a "damburgen"!


Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I would like to take a closer look at your bawls.
Larocque: My what?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Your bawls. Your big, brass bawls.
Larocque: Uh, sure.
(starts to unzip pants)
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: (Picks up brass bowl on table and examines it)


Agent 006: I'm not supposed to be here, remember?


Ponton: He was just found dead in a training facility locker room. Shot in the head.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Was it fatal?
Ponton: Yes.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: How fatal?
Ponton: Um, completely.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I want to talk to him now!


Bizu: (referring to Gluant) And now he's pushing up the daisies.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: He is not 'pushing up the daisies,' he is DEAD!
Bizu: (glares) It's an idiom!
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: *You*, sir, are the idiom.


Inspector Jacques Clouseau: (asking Ponton about his wife) Tell me about her.
Ponton: I consider her the most beautiful woman in the world.
(pauses)
Ponton: What about yourself?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: No, I don't consider myself a beautiful woman.


(repeated line)
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Good one.


French journalist: Inspector, do you know if the killer was a man or woman?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well of course I know that! What else is there? A kitten?


Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You see, I have waited a long time to prove myself, and now I have been given the opportunity of a lifetime. I intend to show the world exactly who I am and what I can do. I must not fail.


Ponton: Have you ever had a hamburger?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, of course not. It's a disgusting American food.
(starts eating the hamburger he was holding and enjoys it)


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