Postal (2007)

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Blither: (Dude has just seen the decapitated heads on some spikes) I see you noticed the heads. Motivational. Those are every fucking bastard I had to climb over to get this job.
Dude: (Shocked) Jesus...
Blither: (laughs) Foul. They're paper mache. Heh-
(to Recorder)
Blither: He thought they were real.
(chuckles; then, to Dude)
Blither: Sit down.
(Dude sits down as he notices one of the 'fake heads' bleeding)
Blither: Let's get started. Now, I hope you don't mind the recording. We're gonna use it as training later.
(Dude is struggling to sit straight on a seemingly broken chair as Blither is telling him this)
Blither: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Dude: Uh, it's, uh, the chair is...
Blither: (Interrupting) Alright, we're on a time clock. So let's get started, alright?
Dude: Alright. Well... so, uh, I'm here for the job, sir.
Blither: (looking through Dude's resume) Right, you're a factory worker.
Dude: I WAS a factory worker, but the factory got closed down. So, I got laid off.
Blither: I have interviewed fifteen other people for this job. What makes you think you're better than them?
Dude: Well, I don't know if I am better than them...
Blither: Well, god damn it, pal! If you want this job, you better reach out and grab it! You better put those fucking heads on the wall!
Blither: You know what? Fuck it, let's go to questions.
Recorder: What is your greatest strength?
Dude: Uh... I'm a really good team player.
Recorder: Wrong.
(Types for a while)
Recorder: What is your greatest weakness?
Dude: Uh, I'd say I work too hard.
Recorder: Wrong.
(Types again)
Recorder: How would you move a mountain using only a spoon?
Dude: A spoon?
Recorder: If you were in a box, how would you think outside it?
(Dude starts to think of an answer)
Recorder: Wrong.
(Types again)
Recorder: Last question: What is the difference between a duck?
Dude: (Long awkward pause) And...
(Another pause; Dude is waiting for more to the question, but nothing. Then, Dude stands up in frustration)
Dude: What the hell is wrong with you people? A wha- a duck? I don- I came here for a job! A JOB! As far as I know, that job has nothing to do with a cocksucking, motherfucking DUCK!
Blither: (after a long pause) Congratulations, pal. You're our leading candidate. How does it feel?
Dude: (Surprised) It feels good?
Blither: No, no, no. How does it feel, huh? How does it feel? I mean, how does it feel to put fucking fifteen heads on that wall? I'll tell you how it feels! It feels fucking great, doesn't it? It feels fucking great.
(Starts making pelvic thrusts)
Dude: (Excited) So, I got it! I got the job!
Blither: Oh, hell no. No, no, no, this is just a getting-to-know-you interview. We still have some more, uh, one hundred and twenty? Yeah, some more candidates, but hell of a start, though.


3 Awards »
Nominated for 3 Awards | Won 1

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