Digges: (Regarding the aviary) If I weren't a gentleman's gentlemen I could be such a cad's cad! (Birds loudly chirp) Digges: Shut up!
Gracie Kane: I know something you don't know, I know something you don't know. Basil Underwood: She knows something we don't know. Digges: It can't be very important or we'd know it.
Mrs. Kane: I'm Mrs. Kane, my friends call me Sugar. Basil Underwood: How sweet of them.
Gracie Kane: Oh, Mr. Actor Man! Where're you going? Basil Underwood: To someplace where there are no dear little children
Joyce Arden: If you knew what I was thinking, you'd shrivel where you stand.
Basil Underwood: Alright Joyce, I'm reaching for my gun. Joyce Arden: Wait, I believe the trigger's at the rear end.
Marcia West: (about Basil) I don't think there are words to describe him, do you? Joyce Arden: Well, there probably are, but one would have to have a very extensive vocabulary.
Marcia West: What are manners? Little rules for little people!
Marcia West: (to Basil) Will you shut up? Basil Underwood: What? Marcia West: You meddlesome old nuisance, who asked you to interfere with our affairs, anyway? Henry Grant, Jr.: She's absolutely right! Basil Underwood: Well, I like that! Why, you - you... Marcia West: You leave Henry out of this! If he'd had any sense he'd have realized I'd have forgotten all about you in two weeks. I was in love with Clark Gable last year, and if I can get over him, it's a cinch I can get over you. Basil Underwood: Who's Clark Gable? Marcia West: (to Henry) He doesn't know who Clark Gable is. Henry Grant, Jr.: Hmmm. I do.
Basil Underwood: I say, Digges, you don't suppose I've aroused her slap-me-again-I-love-it complex?
Basil Underwood: Have you seen a mad woman 'round here? Butler: Which one sir?
Marcia West: Aunt Ella, when Basil Underwood feels like a kipper, I'm sure he doesn't feel like an egg - even an aristocratic one.
Joyce Arden: You're going to have love for breakfast, love for luncheon and love for dinner. Sweet, sugary, sticky worship. You're going to have a steady diet of it till you're ready to scream - you billygoat!
Basil Underwood: After all, what am I? Just the greatest actor in the world.