Lorelai: Luke, will you marry me? Luke: What?
Lorelai: Everybody in this room named Lorelai is over the moon about the going to Yale.
Dave: What we need is a name. Brian: I made my suggestion. Zach: Yeah, and we vetoed "The Harry Potters." Next. Brian: So yours is better? Zach: "Follow Them to the Edge of the Dessert" is memorable and classy. Brian: I run out of breath every time I say it. Zach: You've got asthma, dude. You run out of breath saying your name
Emily: You were on the phone? Richard: Long distance. Lorelai: God? Richard: London. Lorelai: God lives in London? Richard: My mother lives in London. Lorelai: Your mother is God? Richard: Lorelai... Lorelai: So, God *is* a woman. Richard: Lorelai. Lorelai: *And* a relative. That's so cool. I'm gonna totally ask for favors
Rory: So, Grandpa, how's the insurance biz? Richard: Oh, people die, we pay. People crash, we pay. People lose a foot, we pay. Lorelai: Well, at least you have your new slogan.
Jackson: I think we should get married. Sookie: But - uh, but... Jackson: Soon. Sookie: Are you pregnant?
Dean: We sat down and started reading a book and we fell asleep. Lorelai: Well, pick a more interesting book next time
Rory: Please, just tell me why you're here. Dean: I don't even know... Rory: Yes, you do! Dean: Because I thought that you? Oh, forget it. Rory: No. Dean: I thought you were trying to talk to me. Rory: Oh? Dean: I mean, you came to my house? Rory: Oh, no that? that wasn't me. Dean: It *was* you. Rory: It must have been someone that looked like me... Dean: My sister recognized you from the pictures in my box. Rory: What box? Dean: The box I have of us, pictures and letters from you and everything... Rory: You have a Rory box? Dean: And what was going on at that town meeting, all that stuff about writing a song? Rory: I don't know what I was talking about... Dean: And it had nothing to do with me?... Well, I must have imagined it all, then. Your boyfriend is waiting. Rory: He's not my boyfriend, I *hate* him! Dean: Whatever. Rory: Dean! Dean: What? Rory: Stop! Dean: Why? Rory: Because I love you, you idiot!
Mrs. Kim: Watch it. You break it, you buy it. Ten percent off for cousins, twenty percent off for nephews and nieces
Michel: Are you sure it wasn't another Michel? Sookie: You called me! You kept me on the phone for over an hour. I missed the beginning of Queer Eye For the Straight Guy and by the time I got back, they were all gay!
Finn: Good morning, New Haven! My, you look lovely this morning! Man in apartment: Shut up! Finn: God has spoken to me... rather rudely.
Mrs. Kim's Foriegn Exchange Student: What are we doing here? Lane: I've tried to explain it to her but it is not working. Rory: We are throwing my grandmother a bachelorette party. Mrs. Kim's Foriegn Exchange Student: But She is Married. Rory: Yeah, but, they are doing it again. Mrs. Kim's Foriegn Exchange Student: but why? Rory: Because, they want to tell each other they love each other all over again. Mrs. Kim's Foriegn Exchange Student: But why? Rory: 'cause they do. Mrs. Kim's Foriegn Exchange Student: But why? Rory: Because its fun. Mrs. Kim's Foriegn Exchange Student: But why? Rory: Because, (looks at Lane) Lane: Hey, you even lasted one more "but why" than I did.
Lane: Lorelai! Lorelai: Hi Lane! Lane: You're in possession. Lorelai: Of what? Lane: Of the wedding dress. Lorelai: Oh, um yeah, it's safe and sound. I was just starting to dig into it. Lane: Don't dig! Slice, kick, maim, destroy! Lorelai: What? Lane: Stick a mad pack of wolves on it, douse it with lighter fluid and turn it into ash, I cannot wear that dress! Lorelai: Yeah I know. It's a little old world. Lane: Have you looked at it? Lorelai: Parts of it. Lane: Exactly, you can't take it in all at once, the human eye is not capable. Lorelai: Oh, it's not that bad. Lane: Its got pants. Lorelai: (intakes breath) No! Lane: You didn't look at it very carefully. Lorelai: Well, I will remove the pants. Lane: Oh, it's every girl's dream to hear the woman altering her wedding dress say "I'll remove the pants." Lorelai: I'm sure once I alter it a little... Lane: No don't alter it, have and accident! Leave a warm iron on it, spill a vat of acid on it, run your car over it! Lorelai: Lane. Lane! I haven't even put it on the mannequin yet. Let me startwork on it and I will keep you fully posted every step of the way. (Later Lorelai is looking at the awful thing, picks up the hoop skirt end and notices the tiny white pants with gold trim underneath, steps away for a second then steps back and spills the coffee she is holding all over it)
Luke: (Lorelai is whining because the noisy workers have left without saying goodbye) I thought you'd be happy! Lorelai: Yeah, I am, but sad at the same time. Never been with a woman before?
Zach: Welcome to the SH, bitch.