Sholanda: My momma said my daddy's name was Black Dynamite. Brickwilla: So did my momma! Black Dynamite: Err, uhh, hush up little girls. A lot of cats have that name.
(after the ghost of Abraham Lincoln knocks the gun off Richard Nixon's hand, Black Dynamite takes the president down with a foot sweep and pummels his face with a barrage of punches) Black Dynamite: You had enough, Mr. President? Richard Nixon: You'll never get away with this! Black Dynamite: Watch me, you little insecure cracker. You think by shrinking our johnsons, it's gonna make your situation any better? That's your problem, Tricky Dick. You are paranoid. Like sending those two-bit crooks to Watergate. For what? For these? (Black Dynamite throws some photographs of Nixon tied up and engaged in an S&M session) Black Dynamite: Look at you. You lost it all, turkey. Richard Nixon: Kill me. Black Dynamite: Say what? Richard Nixon: Kill me! Black Dynamite: No. That's the easy way out for you. Now, unless you want the rest of this freaky shit to hit the news, I suggest you take good care of me and my people. Can you dig it? (Nixon nods) Black Dynamite: I said, can you dig it? Richard Nixon: Yes, I, I can dig it! Black Dynamite: I thought you could. (Black Dynamite walks away)
(Black Dynamite enters the Hip Pocket billiard hall, where Chicago Wind and his gang confront him) Chicago Wind: So you must be Black Dynamite. Black Dynamite: (Realizing that Cream Corn had warned Chicago Wind of his arrival) Cream Corn, you jive mother. Chicago Wind, I presume. Chicago Wind: Your presumption is correct, nigga. If you presumed that I killed your brother Jimmy, then you presume wrong. Not that it means shit to me. Either way, shit. I wish I'd had killed that nigga myself. Somebody else beat me to it. Black Dynamite: Is that so? Well, Chicago Wind, what do you know about this? (Black Dynamite pulls the bullet casing from his pocket and throws it to Chicago Wind) Chicago Wind: Some heavy shit. but dig. (Chicago Wind throws the bullet casing back to Black Dynamite) Chicago Wind: Let me explain something to you, supernigga. I don't answer questions. I ask them. Even if I did know who killed that brother of yours, what would make you think I'm gonna tell you? Get your black ass out of my joint before we beat you like a rented mule. (Black Dynamite shakes his head in disapproval and walks away) Thug #1: That's right, you jive-ass punk. Don't be coming to the Hip Pocket talking that shit, you dig? That's right, nigga. Don't ever, ever come back... (Black Dynamite turns the open/closed sign in front of the hall to closed and shuts the metal gates before throwing a couple of thugs out the window and fighting the rest of the gang)
Black Dynamite: Now Aunt Billy, how many times have I told you not to call here and interrupt my Kung Fu!
Black Dynamite: I should have known it was you all the time. I should have asked myself, 'Who's the man so wicked, so cruel, that he could serve smack to the orphanage, kill my brother Jimmy, and put out a drug to shrink black men's dicks?' Only one man. That's you, Tricky Dick! So I'm here to deliver you one presidential ass-whupping! Richard Nixon: Black Dynamite, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for that... (Nixon pulls his nunchucks out of a drawer and jumps on his desk) Richard Nixon: Showtime, motherfucker! Fucking think you can fuck with me, Black Dynamite? Who the fuck would stop me, piece of shit?
Chocolate Giddy-Up: I'm spendin' more bail money than I'm gettin' tail money.
Black Dynamite: Lemme speak to the man in charge.
Militant 2: Sarcastically, I'm in charge.
Sholanda: My momma said my daddy's name was Black Dynamite.
Brickwilla: So did my momma!
Black Dynamite: Err, uhh, hush up little girls. A lot of cats have that name.
Black Dynamite: Now if I catch any of you dealing drugs to the community, I will not consider you a brother or a friend, can you dig it?
Black Hand Jack: Hell no, nigga!
Black Dynamite: Say, Mama, you're gonna have to work on your delivery if you wanna take on Congressman James. The shame is, half these people don't know what y'all talking about, but at least they can put his to a beat.
Gloria: So what do you do to make a difference? Do you march? Do you vote? Oh, let me guess. You're one of those Tom Slick brothers that think you can get by on good looks, a wink and a smile, huh?
Black Dynamite: I don't know about Tom Slick, but thank you for the compliments.
Gloria: That's not what I meant. Not that I think you have good looks- I mean, you know these guys with their...
Black Dynamite: Winks and smiles?
(Black Dynamite winks at Gloria)
Gloria: What about the smile?
Black Dynamite: I am smiling.
(Gloria walks away)
Black Dynamite: Fiendish Doctor Wu, you done fucked up now!
Bullhorn: Man! Them crackers gone be runnin' for cover, when us brothers get... get...
Black Dynamite: I'm declaring war on anyone who sells drugs to the community.
Chocolate Giddy-Up: But Black Dynamite! *I* sell drugs to the community!
Black Dynamite: Yeah yeah, mama. Now you could hit the sheets or the streets, it don't make me no never mind. Now that's your bag baby, you can go, or you could come. Can you dig it?
Saheed: That's right. Apollo slew the serpent at Delphi, which was a big-ass snake.
Black Dynamite: And what, brothers, is the biggest snake in the world?
Woman at table: The South American anaconda.
Black Dynamite: What she said.
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: Anaconda Malt Liquor!
Black Dynamite: And what is the slogan for Anaconda Malt Liquor? Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you...
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: WHOOOOO!
Black Dynamite: Gives you what?
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: WHOOOOO!
Black Dynamite: And who else is famous for...
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: WHOOOOO! Little Richard!
Black Dynamite: Who?
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: Little Richard!
Black Dynamite: So, what they're really saying is...
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you... Little Richard?
Black Dynamite: What is another word for Richard?
(Black Dynamite crosses out 'Richard' on the blackboard. The gang look down on their pants)
Cream Corn, Saheed, Militant 2, Militant #3: Gunsmoke!
(the gang run out of the diner towards Gunsmoke's apartment)