American Splendor » Quotes

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Harvey Pekar: So... what are you worried about then? Joyce Brabner: Well, it's the way... it's the way all the different artists draw you. Harvey Pekar: What? Joyce Brabner: You know, I don't really know what to expect. Sometimes you look like a younger Brando... but then the way Crumb draws you, you look... like a hairy ape, with all these wavy, stinky lines undulating off your body. I don't really know what to expect. Harvey Pekar: No, those are motion lines. I'm an active guy!


Robert Crumb: You turned yourself into a comic hero? Harvey Pekar: Sorta, yeah. But no idealized shit. No phony bullshit. The real thing, y'know? Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff.


Real Harvey: (introducing on-screen character) Here's our man. Yeah, all right. Here's me. Well, the guy playin' me anyway. Even though he don't look nothin' like me. But, whatever.


Real Toby: (looking at jellybeans on a tray) I think one might be lime. One might be like mint. Real Harvey: Well, what's the difference between this and this? Real Toby: One's cherry, one's cinnamon. Real Harvey: You can tell that by just looking at them? Real Toby: Not me. I have to put it in my mouth first.


Danielle: I think I'm going to write my own comic. Harvey Pekar: Oh yeah? What about? Danielle: I'm not sure yet, but not about you. I think you have enough already.


Joyce Brabner: We are going to get through this. I understand illness. I know how to handle these things.


Harvey Pekar: You don't have any problems with moving to Cleveland?
Joyce Brabner: Not really. I find most American cities to be depressing in the same way.
Harvey Pekar: And you're OK with the vasectomy thing?


Joyce Brabner: Why does everything in my life have to be such a complicated disaster?


Real Harvey: (introducing on-screen character) Here's our man. Yeah, all right. Here's me. Well, the guy playin' me anyway. Even though he don't look nothin' like me. But, whatever.


Joyce Brabner: I'm a self-diagnosed anemic.


Toby Radloff: I'm not going to be eating dinner until very late and this has got to hold me over.
Harvey Pekar: Yeah? Whaddya got? A church function?
Toby Radloff: No. I'm driving to Toledo to see a movie. Wouldya like to come?
Harvey Pekar: No. Nah. I'm goin to Delaware tonight. I'm getting married.
Toby Radloff: Oh. Why Delaware?
Harvey Pekar: Well, you know, chick I'm marryin' is from Wilmington. Plus I gotta help her move her stuff back here. Why are you driving to Toledo to see a movie, Tob'?
Toby Radloff: It's not playing at the Mapletown. I didn't know you had a girlfriend Harvey.
Harvey Pekar: Yeah, yeah. We met last week.


(During Harvey & Joyce's first date)
Joyce Brabner: I think we should skip the whole courtship thing and just get married.


Harvey Pekar: (looking at himself in the mirror) Well, there's a reliable disappointment.


Mattress Guy #1: So is the girl smart?
Mattress Guy #2: Well, I guess she's about average.
Mattress Guy #1: Average! Man, average is dumb!


Real Toby: So, how do you cope with loneliness, Harvey?
Real Harvey: Uh, did I say I watch television?
Real Toby: Yeah. You mentioned you watch TV, you listen to your jazz records, you read, you write. You do your stick figures so you could plan for your next comic book.
Real Harvey: Yeah.
Real Toby: 'Cause I've seen many of your stick figures and that seems to be pretty interesting.
Real Harvey: Yeah.
Real Toby: (looks at a jellybean tray) Mmm, chocolate jelly beans. I'm going to have to try one.


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