Jackson Curtis: Hey, have a safe trip, you little bastards. Oleg: Now you're laughing, Curtis, but we have tickets to go on on a big ship. We will live and you will die.
President Thomas Wilson: Six months ago, I was made aware of a situation so devastating that, at first, I refused to believe it. However, through the concerted efforts of our brightest scientist, we have confirmed its validity. The world, as we know it, will soon come to an end.
Laura Wilson: (On phone) Dad, where are you? President Thomas Wilson: You wouldn't have gotten on that plane if I told you. Laura Wilson: Daddy, what's happening? I thought you were coming on the plane. President Thomas Wilson: Do you know what strength it gives me to know that my daughter is going to survive?
Adrian Helmsley: So what? Are you just going to kill anyone who tries to tell the people what was going on? Carl Anheuser: Adrian, people who interfere with our plans are not only an enemy of the state, they're an enemy of humanity. Adrian Helmsley: The Director of the Louvre was an enemy of humanity? Carl Anheuser: After he called a press conference, he WAS! What did you think was going to happen? Did you think the world was going to hold hands and sing "Koom-bay-yah"? Get yourself seated.
Yuri Karpov: (while flying over Hawaii) What is that? Sasha: The State of Hawaii. Yuri Karpov: Not good. That is not good.
Jackson Curtis: (to pilot) Here. Take this. This is a very expensive watch. My editor gave it to me when he thought I was gonna be somebody.
Carl Anheuser: Where the hell is President Wilson!
Sally - President's Secretary: He's praying, sir, and under these circumstances that's not such a bad idea.
Charlie Frost: This marks the last day of the United States of America. And, by tomorrow, all of mankind. And we will be visible from the Milky Way as a tiny little puff of smoke. I'm watching the earth crumble before my eyes. The giant ash cloud created by this super-volcano will first envelop Vegas and then St. Louis and then Chicago and then, at long last, Washington, D.C. will have its lights go out!
Sasha: Boss, I found us a plane.
Yuri Karpov: Can you still fly that thing?
Sasha: Sure, boss. But I need co-pilot.
Lilly Curtis: Gordon's a pilot.
Gordon Silberman: No, I'm not. I'm not.
Jackson Curtis: Yes, he is. Great pilot. Let's go.
Yuri Karpov: Good. Let's go!
(both groups set out for the plane)
Gordon Silberman: (just before going outdoors) Jackson, stop saying I'm a pilot.
Kate Curtis: (on the "ark") Where have you been all my life?
Jackson Curtis: Gift shop.
Professor West: The equalization of the oceanic seabeds has not turned out to be as extreme as we expected. The waters are receding much faster than we thought, thank God. And this is hard to believe, the Himalayas are no longer the roof of the world. It's now the Drakensberg mountains of KwaZulu-Natal.
Adrian Helmsley: The entire African continent has risen.
Professor West: Several thousand feet, and likely never even flooded.
Captain Michaels: That's why they call it the Cape of Good Hope. We've already set course for it.
Charlie Frost: (as he witnesses the Caldera erupt) I have goosebumps, people.
Gordon Silberman: Honey, women pay me thousands of dollars to handle their boobs, and you get it for free.
Kate Curtis: So, now that you have your map, where are we going?
(Jackson holds a one-finger signal before unfolding the map with the ships to discover that it is located in "China")
Jackson Curtis: We're going to need a bigger plane.
(looks back at the map)
Harry Helmsley: I barely see my boy, but at least we talk.
Tony Delgatto: About what?
Harry Helmsley: Life, and how short it is.